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an everyday life

an everyday life

Author Archives: Janell

Child’s Play

15 Saturday Aug 2009

Posted by Janell in Good Reads, Home Restoration, In the Garden, Life at Home

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

Books, Cooking, Everyday Life, Julia Child, My Life in France, Play

This week I’ve felt three friendly nudges inviting me to play.  I ignored the first, wondered at the second and am pausing at the third.  Perhaps it’s time to hit ‘Play’?  If only I could fine the right button to push.

Adult play is not that easy.  I’m not even sure what it looks like.  Is it going to the movies, or is it writing, or is it gardening?  I know for sure it’s not housework.  Or driving.  Or going to the grocery store. 

Before entering first grade, I knew exactly what play was.  It was a life of innocence removed from the ticking of clocks or the nonticking of human hearts.  I lived a life ‘below time’, to use a phrase of Frederick Buechner’s.   Mother would tell me, “Hurry up, it’s time to go.”  And I didn’t.  My first grade teacher would yell at me to “Pay attention”.  And I wouldn’t.  Instead, I lived in my own little world of make believe, a place safe from the likes of hurries and grumpies.  

When I was little, no one ever had to tell me:  “Wake-up. It’s time to get out of bed.”  If I was awake, I was out of bed.   That is, until I learned about school.  

At child’s play, I was immersed in my own little world.  My patch of grass was just fine.  I wasn’t worried about keeping up with my neighbors, even if they were playing a nice competitive game of tennis.  

  Janell Yard

At child’s play, I was my own person.  I felt no need to fit in or to fein interest in what was not of interest;  if my cousin Mike was involved in water play, it didn’t mean I had to be.  

Janell Porch

At child’s play, I was not self-conscious.  If I didn’t have the  the right stuff, that didn’t stop me from jumping in feet first.

Janell Pool

So where is play?  Here’s my answer for now.  I believe play happens whenever we forget outselves and our limitations and the rest of the world and its limitations and the time clock and its limitations.  We get lost and aborbed in another world.  Maybe it’s a good book that we don’t want to end.  Or a good moive.  Or for me, a wonderful renovation project, a garden or prayer or writing.  

For Julia Child it was cooking.  Defying the odds and limitations, My Life in France tells the story of how Julia earned her certificate from Le Cordon Bleu and went on to become America’s First Lady of Food.  I was so inspired by Julia’s autobiography that I promptly purchased Mastering the Art of French Cooking.  I opened the cookbook, found it scary and promptly put it on a shelf, where it has gathered dust every since.   

Mastering the Art of French Cooking was not a waste of money however.  I learned that Julia was a master chef because cooking was pure Child’s play for Julia.  I also learned that I do not wish to master French cooking or any other kind of cooking.  I am happy merely to play at cooking. 

Chasing Fireflies

13 Thursday Aug 2009

Posted by Janell in In the Garden, Mesta Park, Soul Care, The Great Outdoors

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Everyday Life, Fireflies, Heritage Hills, Mesta Park, Oklahoma City, Overholser Mansion

Once upon a time, attending a local firefly dance was as easy as taking a few steps into a warm summer’s evening.   fireflyjarAnd in this old neighborhood where I am grateful to live, the grandest dance of all  took place on the grounds of the Overholser Mansion.

The many keepers of Oklahoma City history record that the Overholser’s were known for their grand and gracious entertaining.  Going even further, some say that Henry and the lovely young Anna were the hub of early Oklahoma City’s high society.

Henry was one of the first to purchase property  in the subdivision north of downtown, that is now the heart of the historic preservation district of Heritage Hills.  The story is fondly told of how Henry purchased three residential lots, which bordered Hudson Avenue and Northwest Fifteenth Street, when the land was nothing more than a cornfield.

Henry’s cornfield cum mansion grounds reminds me of another cornfield cum baseball diamond and that mysterious whisper that repeatedly urged…

…”If you build it, he will come.”

As the story was told on the silver screen, the cornfield cut diamond went on to host the ghosts of some famous boys of summers past, most notably “Shoeless” Joe Jackson and his teammates who were caught up in 1919 World Series “Black Sox Scandal.”

overholserThe Overholser Mansion is not host to any scandals of note, though apparently the Mansion is  no stranger to ghosts.  With more than a few reports of paranormal activity floating on the Internet these days, who knows but that maybe Henry heard his own mysterious voice while looking across his own field of dreams; for sooner rather than later, this “Father of Oklahoma City” built his dream mansion…and the invited citizens of Oklahoma City came.

In the book, Oklahoma City, Land Run to Statehood, one local historian notes that,

“Mrs. Overholser gave her first party in 1904 to 400 lucky guests. The Times-Journal society column reported that as guests entered the home, they were greeted by a string quartet playing on the second floor turret landing, hidden by a blanket of palm and fern.”

firefly

It’s been two dry summers since I last attended a firefly dance at the Overholsers, though not for wont of trying.  Many evenings I have put on tennis shoes for a short walk down Hudson Avenue, hopeful of crashing headlong into a firefly ball.

Previous rendezvous have taught me that these shy little social-lights never gathered on the front lawn proper.  Rather the fireflies gravitate to the east side-yard,blog_DSC01705a where they danced above dusk-tinted lawn between an old Model “T” clothes line and the tree-lined sidewalk.

Like a curious child chasing fireflies, I used the net to discover where the fireflies have flown.   The answers I caught at firefly.org knocked me for a loop though;  unless something changes their fate, these charming bugs of summer will soon be ghosts; or in the words of the website, “glowing, glowing, gone.”  Just as sad for this drylocked Oklahoma gal is to know that fireflies prefer life in the warm humid wetlands, the sort of place where tall grass hits water.

Our typical carefully groomed neighborhood lawns, along with other regions of Oklahoma, must have resembled a wetland two years ago, as our rainy month of June left us with non-mowable yards wallowing in standing water.  But it’s interesting that with so many neighborhood wetland yards to choose from, the Overholser place still held a monopoly on firefly dances.

Blog_DSC01713aAnd why not?  There’s simply no better place in the neighborhood to gather than this place that has long been listed on the National Register of Historic Places.  And just as fireflies are anything but a typical guest of an Oklahoma summer, the Overholser place is anything but a typical house museum.  As noted by the Heritage Hills website,

“The Overholser Mansion still contains all of the original furnishings and belongings of the Overholser family, making it one of the rarest house museums in the world. The silverware, dishes, drapes, carpets, furniture – even little Henry Ione Overholser’s doll collection and other toys remain with the home providing a rare snapshot of life at the turn of the 20th Century.

Though I didn’t know it at the time, the Overhoser’s firefly dances of 2007 provided me with “a rare snapshot” of summertime life in Oklahoma.  That little bit of white magic on a former Oklahoma cornfield was something infinitely precious, and though blind, I now see it was a bit of amazing grace served up by a rare summer monsoon followed by a little firefly chaser.

Are We There Yet?

08 Saturday Aug 2009

Posted by Janell in Life at Home, Prayer

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Aging, Are we there yet?, Death, Everyday Life, Hospice, Nursing Homes, Parents, Prayer, Road Trip

We call something science when the reactive outcome is predictable between types of matter; like when two parts hydrogen and one part oxygen react to form water; and when water, yeast and flour react to form bread dough;d'oh and when…“D’oh!”…a child reacts to a long road trip to form that predictable whiny line:  “Are we there yet?”

This children’s query popped out of my own mouth unexpectedly this week while speaking with the director of nursing at ‘Dad’s’ rehab center.  But in the crazy way that life works out, this question from my past frames so precisely the most nagging question of my present; for in fact, these last two weeks of my father’s life feel a lot like one of  those long and whiny road trip’s of my childhood.

Same as then, Dad is in the driver’s seat, a little blind to all the nuances of the medical calamities he’s running over, to all the danger signs he’s ignoring, to all the exit ramps he’s missing; just like then, Daddy is lost, and I think he’d like one of us kids to take over at the wheel.  My sister and I have the power if not the desire; it’s our hope that Daddy will make his own health decisions as long as he’s able and willing.  But then and now, Daddy shies away from decision making; and so different from then, Dad no longer has Mom to play navigator. 

DSC01674aWhat seems clear to all is that Dad has suffered a major setback.  He’s passed through dehydration, where we found the state of pneumonia and then through dysphagia toward the current state of feeding tubes.  Dad has taken in sights that he hoped to never see.  Daddy is worn out; he sleeps most of the time and when he’s awake he seems far away.  But whether or not he sleeps, Daddy’s sad.  And this makes me sad too.     

So I’m lost.  I confess to not knowing Dad’s current medical state.  Nor do I know in which direction Dad’s heading; is Daddy becoming better, becoming worse, or lost somewhere in between?  I’ve no map, no landmarks, no navigator, not even a hunch.  And while my sister and I talk all around it, the only thing we can scavenge up for sure is that there is something very different about Daddy. 

Looking for that elusive reality check is what took me to the director of nursing.  And not one to beat around the bush, I came right out with my questions:  “Was it time for us to call in hospice?”  “Are we there yet?”

I know these questions are difficult to answer, even for someone who practices in the medical field.  Medical science is not as predictable as the other branches of science since the human element makes all reactions unique.  And even if it were, the nurse doesn’t know Daddy and we who do have no medical background.  So overall, it’s the blind leading the blind. 

For who but God can put together the pieces, to know where Daddy is right now and in which direction Dad is heading.  But it’s the nurse’s sense that we are not yet ready for hospice because we are not there yet.  And so we wait.  We wait to see where Daddy will take us next.  As we wait for the gift of hindsight to inform us later of where we are now.  And for now… I simply pray for travel mercies. 

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