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an everyday life

an everyday life

Tag Archives: Spiritual Direction

Responsive Readings

11 Friday Feb 2011

Posted by Janell in Soul Care, Writing

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Blogging, Soul Care, Spiritual Direction, Writing

Intimate, as if conversing over morning coffee, Rose caught me up with a smattering of old family news.

She shared stories about family I knew only by name, like my new-found eighty-year old cousins living in Vermont.  She told another about Great-Great Aunt Mary – who’d emigrated from Greece to America with my grandfather in 1911.  She pulled a few special stories out about her father, who died when she was thirteen — even his prized family recipe for a Greek chicken-egg-lemon soup I whipped up last night.

Her bold script flowed fast over fourteen pages.  But what amazes me most about Rose and this handwritten letter is how she refuses to allow her stories to grow stale. In spite of being recycled countless times, over ninety years of living, Rose tells it all fresh, reviving it to life again with rich detail.

In this week spent contemplating my writing, Rose’s letter has me wondering what makes for good writing.  Does it come with a long-familiarity of subject addressed?  Or is it an intimate sharing on matters closer to the quick of life?  I only know her letter inspired me to response.  And maybe, in the end, that’s what’s important – regardless of whether we spell our responses in words or actions.

Sometimes, as a reader of blogs, I respond by merely tuning in as a faithful reader — by listening to whatever it is the blog author wishes to share about life.  When their words spark a written comment, I do so without thought of reply, regarding my blog post comments akin to  prayer, knowing I’m heard whether or not I receive a direct reply.

I sometimes wonder if my best writing isn’t tucked away in personal notes and comments written over the years.  It’s something I’ve wondered more than once, even out loud, a while back, to my spiritual director.  The words spoken in spiritual direction are like prayer, too, in that I mostly speak into an attentive silence.  Sometimes my words inspire a slow and thoughtful response.  But rarely does one come rushing at me — as it did that day — when my director responded by saying he imagined St. Paul had probably expressed a similar thought about his own letter writing a time or two.

I confess I find it hard to read a response like his.  I wonder what to make of  it.  And then I shift mental gears by wondering what his response will ultimately make of me. All I can say — two years later —  is that I’m still working on a response to his response.

I’m thinking I may have one by the time I’m ninety.  You can check back then — if not before.

Memories on Ice

20 Thursday Jan 2011

Posted by Janell in Life at Home, The Great Outdoors

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

Childhood Memories, Death, Everyday Life, Grandchildren, Spiritual Direction

Sleet danced on the rooftop last night.

But for the first time in years, it did not waken me.  Perhaps time has done its job in healing the wounds of Mother’s death.  Still.  While no longer linked to winter’s pounding ice, I suppose her December funeral and the crippling central Oklahoma snow storm that followed will live in memory until I die.

It is no small consolation that my memories no longer seem to reach out of a frozen past to startle me into sadness.  If there is winter ice sadness today, it will come from being housebound — from a fear of driving on slick roads, enough to keep me from my daughter’s side.  Today will be my first absence —  if one doesn’t count last weekend’s self-enforced exile, when I left my post as ‘New Mother’s Helper” to create space for my son-in-law’s parents to discover new granddaughter delights on their own — without benefit of any color commentary I would have struggled to contain:  “Oh, try this…;” or …. “Oh, no, she doesn’t like that….!”  —  all those sort of truthful remarks that hinder rather than help.

Yet the glad and sad-for-grandmother truth is that mother and child are weaning themselves away from true need of my help.  Yesterday, I mostly carried out a few household chores — laundry and more laundry —  while taking time to preserve Reese’s first days with still images.

With much to do, it’s hard to stand still — to allow these first moments near my new grandchild to swaddle me.  Yet, how easy it is to sit when Reese is placed in my arms.  Then and only then does time cease to matter as I rock away cares and chores and the tick-tock minutes.

I look down at her miniature features to watch the myriad expressions baptize her nose, eyes and Gerber cheeks — accompanied by a symphony of sounds rising out of her slightly parted lips.  My eyes water at mystery.  I wonder about what she is thinking — what memories she is even now this very minute forming that can never be shared for lack of words and images and maturity to convey them.

Words about a baby’s memory from a book I’m reading intersect with everyday life today.  They come from a science fiction novel — Orson Scott Card’s Speaker for the Dead — which I would never have read, but for urging from a close friend.  I am grateful for his suggestion and for several lines of Card’s thoughts which have invited deeper contemplations of life, like this:

A human child loses almost all the memories of the first years of its life, and its long-term memories only take root in the second or third year of life; everything before that is lost, so that the child cannot remember the beginning of life.

What thoughts dance at the top of my grandchild’s mind, especially when she flails her arms about startled?  Whatever they are, they cause me to respond with a soothing word.  With all the love that I am, I cuddle her close and console her with soft pats on her back.

As Reese dozed yesterday, time melted away to startle me awake with my own first memory.  What it is I may one day share.  But what interests me most today is not mine, but yours.  So I ask: What is your first memory, the first of many frozen in time?  When was it born?

Who’s on First?

21 Sunday Nov 2010

Posted by Janell in Life at Home, Soul Care

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Dr. Suess Baby Shower, Everyday Life, Spiritual Direction

It’s been a “who’s on first” sort of week.

Though to play it straight, most everyone who loves me knows, without a shadow of a doubt, WHO has been at the top of my list these last seven days.  So the question of the hour — the one that has me juggling  all sorts of puzzle pieces that may have come out of more than one box — is who the heck has been on second, third and home base?

While laying in bed this morning I composed an entire post on this topic in my head.  The flavor of it reminded me of that Faulkner stream of consciousness piece I hated and never finished:  “The Sound and the Fury.”  Forget the story, the title alone should give  one pause — though, in this case, it doesn’t.

My imaginary musings went like this:  Paint Sunday morning birthday party Sunday night Karson will be seven; cold calling Daddy’s back-east family who wouldn’t know me from Eve all Monday but for tending a few EBAY bids and attending Kara’s second baby shower held after-school — while sitting in a kindergarten chair, I won one, lost the other. Score: 1 vintage Pop-Kola advertising sign and 1 photo of  Great-grandmother Victoria, who deserves a story all her own.

Wednesday I was writing a letter to Aunt Carol about all I had earned from the cold call cousins back east before flying to my sister’s place in Shawnee and those three loose ends which needed tying while Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday I spent up on my tip toes and down on my knees at  ‘First’ except for that quick time-out in the dugout for a spiritual direction session that left me with good food for thought which stills needs to be chewed.  That I just described the results of my spiritual direction session like a Happy Meal received through a McDonald’s drive-in window should give me pause.   But in this case, it doesn’t.

Friday I arrived home to the other EBAY prize I won and a piece of mail holding even greater prizes — photos of my grandfather’s sister Anna and her husband and their young family and a jewel of a letter from my 85 year-old second cousin John who now knows me from Eve.  Score:  One Pop-Kola bottle, from the very company my great-great uncle once owned and four old family photos I am thrilled to call my own.

Later this morning I’ll be back on First, which again, is a lovely story all its own that has much to do with that Suessian-flavored poem I cooked up a few weeks ago with son Kyle who played sous-chef which daughter Kate later stuffed into invitations for daughter Kara’s third and final baby shower next Sunday.

Whew!  So a week from now, I hope to be resting on my laurels.   We should find Kara’s home decorated for Christmas.  And playing off the tinsel and lights and the mystery of not knowing WHO this new grandchild will be — a little Cindy Lu or a boy like Jo-Jo Who — we are throwing a baby shower by the tree. Of course, we christened it Who-ville.

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“Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it? — every, every minute?”

-- Thornton Wilder, "Our Town"

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