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an everyday life

an everyday life

Tag Archives: Oklahoma Gardening

No Matter

11 Thursday Jun 2009

Posted by Janell in Far Away Places, In the Garden, Life at Home

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Aging, Everyday Life, Oklahoma Gardening, Parents, Travel, Writing

It’s the season of vacations, the time of year when one politely inquires as to another’s vacation plans, either out of sincere interest or perhaps as a hopeful seque to discussing their own.

Sometimes I fail to hit the beach volley ball back, totally missing the shot.  This week it was my doctor that was asking, perhaps because she had just returned from her own vacation.  I know because six weeks ago her office called to reschedule my appointment to this week from last.  But when Dr. E  politely inquired as to my own vacation plans, I failed to return the favor.  Sadly, the thought never crossed my mind. 

No matter that we have no vacation plans ourselves this year.  At least nothing serious in the offing, like last year’s trip, when we took ourselves and eleven others to spend a week at Disneyworld.  I wish I hadn’t spiked the ball and killed the topic, because I would have loved to hear about Dr. E’s vacation and maybe even talk about our one day dream vacations to Greece and New  Zealand.   Or even the trips I know I’ll dream about later– as punctual as a time clock –when the calendar turns to Fourth of July, I’ll want to run away to the lake and in August I’ll want to run away to Alaska, though neither dream will materialize. 

DSC01578aBut no matter.  This year, I’m pretty content in my own back yard.  Everyday I go out and putter in my garden — pull a few weeds, pick up a bucket of dead magnolia leaves and do a little supplemental watering.  Every week something new is in bloom, and the tranformation from a few months ago fills my heart with joy.  My grandma’s cottage garden is no longer a dream but a reality, tomatoes growing next to antique roses, hollyhocks so heavy in bloom they look as if they need a holiday, to take a load off and rest their tired feet.  

There will be no more vacations for Daddy.  Even though he’s vacated his house, his stay at the rehab center doesn’t count.  My brother Jon and I stayed through supper last Tuesday, to keep him company and to remind him of his new eating regimen — small bites and sips, followed by two swallows.  It’s painful to watch Dad choke on most every bite.  Daddy eats every meal at the ‘supervised’ table because eating is dangerous to his health.  With Daddy are two faithful female companions, who finish their food rather quickly, then patiently wait for Daddy to finish.  It takes Daddy a good forty-five minutes to eat fifteen minutes of food.  I wonder why they stay, but soon my question is answered.  As my brother Jon starts to wheel Dad away, Daddy stops Jon to reach out for these ladies hands to give each a tight squeeze.

Is Daddy telling them ‘thanks’ for sticking around, ‘thanks’ for not deserting him in his time of need?   Do these ladies pray for Dad as he takes every bite?  Or do they just pray Daddy will remember to reach out to hold their hands?  

No matter.  Even a rehab center can serve up unforgettable beauty that takes your breath away.

A Yankee Transplant

06 Saturday Jun 2009

Posted by Janell in In the Garden, Life at Home, Mesta Park

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Aging, Death, Everyday Life, Mesta Park, Oklahoma Gardening, Parents, Writing

The old stressed Magnolia outside my window is blooming profusely this summer, which is not a good sign.  Sensing its days are numbered, the Magnolia is reproducing many seeds, in hope that some will land on fertile ground.  I often wonder how old the Magnolia is.  Was it planted back in 1928, when the home’s first owners moved into what is now Mesta Park?  If so, my tree would be close to Daddy’s age. 

I’ve an interest in knowing more about Daddy’s early days as well.  But he has no interest in me knowing.  This Saturday and last, I invited Dad to confirm bits and pieces of his childhood told to me by his sister, my Aunt Carol.  He ignores me.  But later, when I wonder aloud a simple question about the actors on an old Andy Griffith show we are watching together, he has no trouble getting his point across.   Only the trivial is worthy of a response.  

So Daddy’s past appears irrevocably closed.  I will not attempt to cross back to the land of his childhood again.  But today, I learned that even our shared past is full of unknowns, because my point of view is different than Daddy’s.  This lesson was brought home by thumbing through a travel journal I made Daddy seven years ago, on the occasion of his seventy-second birthday. 

The journal records memories of a vacation we took eleven years ago — Daddy, Christi, Don and I– when we stayed seven days in Ireland and three days each in London and Paris.   I kept a contemporaeous journal of our travels and I think it was Christi who put the bug in my ear that Daddy might enjoy a copy of my memories for himself.  So it was Daddy’s copy of the travel journal I picked up this afternoon, in an effort to share memories with Daddy, even while Daddy was off on his own travels in the land of  nod.  

At the end of my words on Paris, I was surprised to run across an entry in Daddy’s own handwriting, that seven years ago, was still strong and legible, rather the faint hieroglyphics it has become today.  Daddy’s memories of Paris were different than mine, he wrote, probably because he was older than me.  For one, Daddy loved seeing the bird’s eye view of Notre Dame and the Eiffel Tower, as we circled the city in the air on our arrival into Paris.  And he also expressed thanks that Don was willing to climb 160 feet of stairs to the top of the Arc de Triumph, for he didn’t think he would ever forget seeing eleven roads converge into one.   Simple things became unforgettable for Daddy. 

And though not simple himself, Daddy too will be unforgettable.  Though the rich and lovely memories that I share with Daddy alone… as well as the dark secrets of the past that remain unknown by any save Daddy… will all die with Daddy’s death.   When that happens, a small part of me will die too, because Daddy’s life and mine are intertwined, and his passing will leave me with unfillable void.  

No so with the old Magnolia outside my window.  And while I mean no disrespect, when this old girl dies, I’ll just plant another tree.   And it will not be another Magnolia or any other southern tree.  Rather, if such a thing exists, perhaps a nice Yankee tree, in memory of Daddy, that like Daddy himself, will prove a strong transplant for Oklahoma.  

Steel Magnolia

13 Wednesday May 2009

Posted by Janell in In the Garden, Mesta Park, Soul Care, The Great Outdoors

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Everyday Life, Magnolia Trees, Mesta Park, Oklahoma Gardening, Writing

With my husband out of town for what seems like forever, I’m reduced to keeping up with local weather forecasts on my own. 

So having done my homework before tuning in, I was surprised to be awakened at 2 a.m. last night by the far away sound of  thunder.  A silent minute later, deciding the thunder had been a vivid dream, I settled back into bed, to again hear what sounded like another rumble.  A strong Oklahoma wind, 40 mph whipping down the plain fast, soon had my old windows humming and vibrating.  

Then came the rain.  And memories of twenty years of  tropical storms I had experienced when living ten miles from the Texas coast were reawakened to rest along side me.  Remembering the damage of tropical winds, I half expected to wake up  a downed Magnolia tree in our backyard this morning.  Soggy soil and strong wind proved a deady combination for many huge Texas trees.  And our old Magnolia tree is not doing well. 

In the last  three year’s, our poor tree has been put through something akin to the tree world’s trials of Job.  Its first three bruisings came compliments of the Oklahoma weather rollercoaster.   Three yeasrs ago, our State was in the midst of a long drought.  As luck woud have it, the drought was broken briefly the day we moved in, by a  light Methodist sprinkle of water falling from the sky.  Though not a Baptist dunking, it did a fine job of baptizing us into our new life in Mesta Park.  

Our  first  summer proved a scorcher, with many broken record days of over 100 degree heat.   And our poor old Magnolia just suffered  since I didn’t know to  give it a slow and long weekly drink.  The following  summer we experienced a monsoon, when the entire month of June was one big rainy day.  Then six months later, we were crippled by freezing rain that ended up damaging and felling many old trees that in turn took out the neighborhood power lines.  I don’t think I’ll ever forget the arrival of the Oklahoma National Guard in front of our house, who chainsawed and stacked the remains of a fallen limb, that once reached across the street from a neighbor’s gorgeous American Elm.  The limb itself was large enough to completely cutoff traffic.  Our Magnolia lost a few limbs and more than a few branches and like the other trees of the neighborhood, has looked a little crippled ever since.

Then last summer, as if the Oklahoma weather hadn’t done enough to kick this old  tree around, we gave it another beating by beginning our backyard construction project, distrubing  the tree’s root system.  After the damage was done I learned that Magnolia’s, more than most, just hate to have their feet messed with.  But so far, it lives.

May and June brings a lot of leaf drop on Magnolia trees in Oklahoma.  And while everyday is a leaf drop sort of day for a Magnolia, the tree absolutley rains leaves four weeks a year, even without wind.  This past week I’ve collected a full grocery sack every day.   And the transformation has been incredible — two weeks ago our tree had so many off color leaves it looked sick with yellow fever, while today its mostly a waxy green shiny.  

Magnolia leaf drop, which leaves a tree a little naked and exposed, is nature’s way of preparing the tree for its season of blooms.  Beneath all those yellow leaves on my old tree, were creamy Magnolia blooms waiting for their moment in the sun.  And I absolutely love Magnolia blooms.  Even now, one is partially opened with a bee  circling it madly, but kept from its vocation by the still strong Oklahoma wind. 

I pray our tree will prove a survivor just like that one down the street at the Murrah Memorial.  Two more years may tell whether its out of the woods.  And in the meantime, I’ll just watch the blooms unfold and tend to the tree’s needs, as best as I can, as this old Job steels itself for another long hot summer.  And while the tree wrestles with God for new life, I’ll just pick up its old cast-offs, offer it long and slow refreshing summer drinks, and let it soak in some Epsom Salts over the winter. 

And  unlike Job’s friends, I’ll attend its wounds in silence.

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