A Winning Combination

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No matter how it’s done, a meal followed by a game is a winning combination.

Tonight, while my husband and brother-in-law dined out before going to the Thunder game, Kyle and I did it our own way– by taking advantage of my husband’s absence to enjoy a meal my husband doesn’t like:  Red Swiss Steak, Re-baked Potatoes and Cream-style Corn.  And tonight I lucked out.  Because the potatoes turned out nice and creamy when usually I struggle to make them as good as Mom’s.

Kyle and I were lucky in other ways too, since we shared our meal with Bryan and Amy, who ended up bringing along Amy’s new board game to play after dinner.  We had so much fun — one minute eating good food around the table, the next wiping it clean to set up Amy’s game.

It made me wonder how many times my children ate this same meal at Mom’s —  followed by a game.  Too many to count.  Though usually the game was some sort of card game — the favorites being either Ten-To-One or Nasty Canasta, depending on how many card-players there were.

Life without Mom does get easier, though it doesn’t happen sequentially.  Because there are times — like this week —  when I really wish she could have been here to tell me “things were going to be all right.”   And maybe it was this desire  — to tell myself that “things” were going to be all right — that actually inspired tonight’s menu.

We take comfort where and how we can — and tonight, I took mine in Mom’s tried and true combination of Red Swiss Steak and Re-baked Potatoes.

Miss you Mom.

Red Swiss Steak

Feeds 4 to 8  Preparation time 20 minutes/Oven time 90 minutes

2 lbs cubed round steak
2 Tbs cooking oil
1/2 cup flour
1 onion sliced thin (microwaved 70 seconds on high to soften)
1 12-oz can tomato paste
2 cups water
2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp black pepper

Preheat oven to 350.  Heat oil in skillet over medium heat; flour and brown steak on both sides.  Cook onions in microwave and mix remaining ingredients for sauce.  In a greased casserole dish with a lid, add a half cup of sauce, half the meat, all the onions topped with another half cup of sauce, followed by the remaining meat and sauce.  Cover and bake.

Re-Baked Potatoes

Serves 6 to 8  Preparation time:  15 minutes/ Cooking time:  1.5 hours

4 baking-size potatoes
1 Tbsp olive oil
6 Tbsp butter, softened
4 oz cream cheese, softened (I use the kind with chives)
1/2 cup sour cream
1/2 cup milk
1/2 to 1 cup grated cheddar cheese
Salt and pepper (begin with 1 tsp of salt & 1/4 tsp pepper, then adjust to taste)

To Bake: Preheat oven to 425.  Wash and dry potatoes.  Pierce with fork, three times on each side and coat with olive oil.  Place in pre-heated oven (without foil) and bake for 1 hour and 15 minutes — or until potatoes are tender when pinched (using a potholder).  Remove from oven and cool for 5 minutes.

To Re-bake: Slice potatoes horizontally into two even portions.  Scoop potato into a large bowl filled with  butter, cream cheese and sour cream.  Place empty potato jackets onto a foil-lined baking pan.   Add milk, salt and pepper and mix with an electric beater, until smooth and creamy, having the consistency of mashed potatoes.  Add more milk if necessary.  Adjust seasonings.  Then scoop potato filling back into jackets and top with cheese.  Return to oven for final baking — 10 minutes at 350 or until cheese is melted.

Preparation Note:  These can be made in advance up to the point of re-baking — though if the potatoes are cool, the re-bake will take longer — up to 20 minutes.

Watershed Wonders

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“Say after me:  It’s no better to be safe than sorry.”  –  a-ha

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Watershed years defy tidy summary.  But as a nod to Dad and his passion for movies, I’ll begin by calling ours, “Two Funerals and a Wedding,” but then focus on these other in-between moments: Two college graduations; a wedding announcement by Bryan and Amy; and soon — anytime now — the birth of a new grandchild, Kara and Joe’s first.  Next year’s sequel waits to answer our family cliffhanger: Is it a girl or boy?

Amid these transitions, Don’s travel schedule was lighter than usual, with just a few short trips to Houston and overseas.  And while his annual backpacking trip fell by the wayside, we headed off into the western sunset together to enjoy the beauty growing wild in Alaska. It was our first taste of life on the retiree’s travel circuit – and while we may not have made the cut, we didn’t leave the ship without booking next year’s trip.

Closer to home, our family enjoyed a different sort of travel as we again took turns hosting a monthly moveable feast.  Most months we kept it simple by gathering at a local restaurant, where we played our assigned roles.  Don’s regular part is the manager who keeps us anchored in reality while moving clockwise, Kyle and Kara are our two creative souls, who talk someday of writing a children’s book together.  Then Kara’s husband Joe is the consummate sports fan, who is always strategically positioned to watch whatever sport happens to be airing on television.  Next are resident lovebirds Amy and Bryan — just glad to be together again, with Amy having just returned from a month-long family visit.  Finally there’s Glen and Kate, who keep us in stitches with their repartee — with Kate rolling her eyes, Glen’s been talking about how he knows how to fix their broken toilet — but that he’s just not worked up to it yet.

And then there’s me — the one who could write the book on not yet working up to doing “this” or “that.”  So how fitting it was for my watershed moments to pry me out of my contemplative comfort zone:  From leading my father’s funeral service in April to spending ten days at the Iowa Writer’s Workshop in July, you may be surprised to learn I’ve continued to set aside my introverted nature to make cold calls on Dad’s family back East.  While the calls began with hope of picking up the missing and puzzling pieces of Dad’s sad childhood story, my restored family connections have evolved into something more – especially my regular visits with Aunt Carol, Dad’s only sister – but exactly what the ‘more’ is I’m not ready to name.  Yet I can report how downright comical it’s been to listen to my own introductory spiel — telling unknown cousins how we really are related — before they hang up the phone, thinking I’m some sort of strange solicitation call.

I don’t know where the changes will lead.  But I know mine began during Lent, listening every morning to thissong-bite’ – “Say after me:  It’s no better to be safe than sorry” – performed by a band fittingly named a-ha. In a year punctuated by my father’s and aunt’s deaths – as well as the upcoming marriage of my brother Jon – I can’t help but wonder how lives would differ if we were to live everyday believing this song-bite true.  And on this dangling question I’ll close – for in this Season born of watershed wonders and professions of faith, who could want a tidy ending?  Like some movies, tidiness can be overrated.

Making Right Turns

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I like it when what comes next doesn’t depend upon me.

Maybe that’s why I’d rather be a passenger instead of the driver.  When I’m not in the driver’s seat, I’m free to look at scenery.  Or rest.  Or read.  Or daydream and think.

I rest easier knowing I’ve done right by others.  But sometimes, when I’m merrily riding along some past indiscretion will catch up with me.  And whether or not I’ve done my best is not always relevant.

There are many times my best had me coming up short while trying to do the right thing.  Like last week for instance.  I did my best to offer comfort.  Yet I fear I did the opposite.  And I was absolutely undone for a few days, by the mere possibility that I might have caused another unintended harm.

Then there are those other times when I have intentionally done something wrong.  Sometimes it’s unvarnished no-two-ways-about-it  ugliness.   But other times it’s more subtle than that — like when I have wronged others by talking myself out of doing the right thing.  Two  times that I can count — countless others of which I remain blissfully unaware — which out of the clear blue, came back to keep me company a few days ago.

I wish I could explain why these memories are talking to me now, after so many years of playing dumb.  But all I can say is that they have sent me soul-searching for answers.  And so far, all I’ve come up with is this:  Rationalizing away what’s right and turning it into a wrong is easy to do in situations where there is no legal obligation to do anything different  — or, as in my case, where there is no personal accountability for a different outcome by the wronged party’s expectations or petitions.

But perhaps there’s still time to make restitution for these two wrongs.  Not because it will make things right, because I’m not sure  it’s ever possible to set wrongs right — a right can never erase a wrong, though it may lessen its sting.

And strange as it is, I’m not sure I would wish to erase anything.  Because in some mystical way, those weighty wrongs have shaped me into a person who strives hard to do right by others — even when it comes at personal cost — and these wrongs work to keep me grounded, from thinking myself better than I really am.

So this time, it looks like I’m in that uncomfortable driver’s seat with two ghosts taking up my favorite space in the front passenger seat.   And whether I make a right turn or end up somewhere in left field depends entirely upon me and my own internal compass.