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an everyday life

an everyday life

Category Archives: Soul Care

The Back Door’s Open

06 Thursday Aug 2009

Posted by Janell in In the Garden, Life at Home, Mesta Park, Soul Care, The Great Outdoors

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Back door guests, Everyday Life, Mesta Park, Oklahoma Gardening, Soul Care, Writing

This morning’s rain descended without warning, slipping in under our radar and through the back door.  Yet, my unexpected guest was most welcomed; in spite of the early wake up call she left tapping against my window pane.DSC01645a        

I was glad for a morning to be lazy, to have no where I needed to be.  Tucked into my favorite chair with a fresh cup of coffee, I enjoyed that  rare pleasure of hosting a beloved drop-in guest.  But it made me wonder:  Does anyone these days experience the joy of surprise visits from friends or family?

Here in Mesta Park, my only unexpected callers are the occasional Girl Scout with cookies and the  more faithful Jehovah’s Witness who canvas our tree-lined neighborhood in hope of finding a few lost souls;  both seem content to receive my meager crumbs of hospitality from the welcome mat that rests just beyond the front door.  

I can’t recall when I last received a surprise visit from a good friend or family member.  Even my four children don’t just drop in as the school of hard-knocks has taught them to call before they knock.  Instead, they “let their fingers do the walking” with their cell phone compass  in hand.   “Where are you?”, they ask.  And before I respond, I immediately think, “Where’s Waldo?”  These days, Waldo’s often in Seminole visiting Daddy, or at the County Extension office playing plant detective or since June, practicing the art of spiritual direction wherever the Spirit leads me. In other words, I’ve taken my homebody-ness on the road for some good old-fashioned visits.  DSC01662a       

The heart of a visit is listening.  And to listen well, I create space by temporarily putting my own life on the back burner.   But no matter where I am physically, I strive to be at  home in spirit by being true to who I am.   I’m less of a front-door guest and more like those back-door guests that so often called upon my granny.  These special people never put on airs but simply made themselves at home, often rolling up their sleeves to work along side their host to help with simple meal preparation or find their own source of refreshment.   

This morning’s rain was a perfect example of a wonderful back door guest.  As if my burden were her own, the rain settled in and deep watered every square inch of my gardens, leaving behind the fresh scent of heavenly rain water.  Meanwhile, sitting in my comfy chair, I deep listened to the sounds of raindrops working.  And just like the garden, my spirit was nourished, cleansed by the rain’s soothing sounds, a rhythm of soft humming piddles and pings.    

DSC01632aMy own grandmother really knew how to welcome a back door guest.  No appointments were necessary; No knock was required.  The guest just shouted out a greeting before letting themselves in.  Granny always made everyone feel welcomed, as if they were her most important of priorities.  And while there, they were.  Whatever she had been doing — watching a little television or working a crossword puzzle–were simply put aside in favor of a nice cozy chat.    

These memories of my granny stir up my own desire to become something like her.  On some rainy day in the future.  When all I want to do is stay home.  And then I pray:  Let the guests descend!   Without advance warning.  Even a few raindrops will do.  As long as they remember to enter in through the back door like today’s unexpected guest.   

Slumber Smiles

04 Tuesday Aug 2009

Posted by Janell in Far Away Places, Life at Home, Soul Care

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Aging, Death, Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Parents, Soul Care

From the moment I walked out of my father’s nursing home room late this afternoon, I’ve been wondering about death.  Like…when it will come for Daddy?  And what will the nearness of death look like on my father’s face?  And most of all:  Is Daddy’s end near?

But it wasn’t until my husband and I were on the way home from a quick supper that I finally gave birth to my question.

“What does the end of life look like?”  

Asking questions is my way of searching for facets of truth when answers are unapparent.  And as is my wont to do, before my husband could think through his own answer, I began shaping one of my own:      

“I’m wondering if the end of life looks like the beginning of life.  When I think back on those days of new babies and then compare those memories to Daddy’s life now, I see that both ends are consumed with the business of sleep.  Most comes from short little cat naps.  Easily disturbed; yet so easy to drift back to sleep.  And as our “endsters” are busy with their slumbers, the world carries on without them, though they care not about our doings; they are faithful souls who live below the radar of managing the daily ins and outs of their own welfare; it is left to us to make the best decisions we can on their behalf.  Even as they sleep away their life, we cock one ear to catch their next breath and instead find ourselves listening to those sweet and sometimes odd little sleeping noises that come unwittingly out of their mouths.  And before we can wonder whether everything is okay, they’ve unknowingly answered our question by settling back to normal sleep.”

What do baby’s smile at in their sleep?  I love Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s take on this:

“I, writing thus, am still what men call young;
I have not so far left the coasts of life
To travel inland, that I cannot hear
That murmur of the outer Infinite
Which unweaned babies smile at in their sleep
When wondered at for smiling…”

I haven’t yet noticed Daddy smiling while he sleeps.  But maybe that will come, as Daddy crawls toward “that murmur of the outer Infinite.”    

Belonging

03 Monday Aug 2009

Posted by Janell in Prayer, Soul Care

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Everyday God, Everyday Life, Memberships, Oklahoma Gardening, Soul Care, St. Paul's Cathedral, Taize, Writing

In honor of my 100th post, I joined Blog Oklahoma late yesterday evening. 

Before joining, I traveled through all seventy-one pages of blog descriptions of other members.  A dozen enticed me to pay a visit; three ended up on my blogroll. So I thought, “Why not”.  “I’ll come out and play.”  But other than this, I’m not sure what will come of my membership.

Memberships are funny animals.  In joining a club or society or whatever, we satisfy this inate desire to belong to something bigger than ourselves.  I belong to the AICPA and the OSCPA, though my life as a certified public accountant rests on an unlit back burner.  Yet I hate to drop this long-term affiliation, even though I’ve no dreams to ever practice again.  I confess:  I enjoy being on my husband’s payroll.

More recently, I joined the Oklahoma Country Master Gardeners.  Now this membership requires me to do something other than to breathe and pay money once a year.  Twice a month I go sit behind the county extension help desk, what I have affectionately renamed the ‘hope desk’, as my callers are always looking for a ray of hope.  When the phones grow silent, I visit with two other on-duty gardeners.  And when my phone rings, I listen to the caller’s latest malady, as I play a bit of plant detective to uncover the mystery of why this or that is not performing as expected.

We do have our pesky expectations, don’t we?  Expectations have sent me to question my local church membership.  The last three Sunday mornings I have played musical pews, to see if  I can find a better fit than where I currently ‘belong’.  So far, no dice.  Each church has its own personality, it’s own way of conducting the business of church, and I’m starting to wonder if I’m looking for that mythical mystical unicorn.  

I’m looking for a church that conducts less business and more church, at least during the worship hour. My biggest gripe about church is not the passing of the plate, or even the dreaded passing of the peace–a nightmare for introverts like me, and even some extroverts like my friend Laure who always dabs on a bit of hand sanitizer afterwards, just in case she got a little more than bargained for–but rather it’s the spirit-grating advertisements that come in the midst of the worship service.  We’ve prayed, sang a few hymns and then, low and behold, here come a few ‘announcements’ or two.  Ecclesliastes 3 teaches us there is a time for everything under the sun; in my book, commercials, even if related to the business of the church, should not reside anywhere near  a worship service.   To them, I say:  Be gone.  Find your own time and space.

Ironically, for this writer-wannabe, the perfect church service would be practically wordless — certainly no sermon or commericals.  Just music, a few chants, the barest of homilies.  I had hoped to find this animal alive at the montly Taize service at St. Paul’s Cathedral yesterday evening.  But what I remembered at 3 pm was gone by 5pm.  So it will be September before I can satisfy my curiousity.  And I hope,  this unmet desire to join with something bigger than myself.    

But make no mistake.  If Taize meets my dreams of church, I’ve no plans to join St. Paul’s.  And I hope the real members of St. Paul’s don’t mind.  But if they pass the plate, I’ll pay.  And if they pass the peace, I’ll play and even keep my hand sanitizer at home.  But mostly, I just want to pray, surrounded by a few others who mostly want to pray.

Come Holy Spirit.  Come out, come out, wherever you are.  To you and you and you, Trinity of One, do I truly wish to belong. 

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