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an everyday life

an everyday life

Category Archives: Life at Home

Fast Month

01 Friday Jun 2012

Posted by Janell in Life at Home, Writing

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

Childhood Memories, Fictional Memoir, Iowa Summer Writing Festival, Writing

My young father and me – Albany, I think…

It wasn’t my intention to fast from the blog for a month, though a few weeks ago, I did decide to skinny-down life to better prepare for the Iowa Summer Writing Festival.

It wasn’t difficult.   One early in May morning I woke up and drew a few lines in the sand to make my sandbox a little smaller.  Inside was everyday life and my father’s story.  Outside the box was everything else — including my beloved home and garden restoration projects — no matter how many fabulous mid-summer plant sales that are bound to come up to tempt.

It’s a case of doing first things first.  Focusing on what I would be most sad to leave undone in this world, in the event I die sooner than later.   Because who would write Dad’s story if not me?  Who knows it or cares to know it in its scattered and torn state?  Who would give it their all and then some?  And really now — as much as I adore home restoration projects, none of them have quite made my heart sing like working on my father’s and aunt’s childhood story.

The fast month of May taught me much.  Not only my growing knowledge of my young father and aunt and their life — but much about me and my life — why the more I cozy up to my young father, the more I see how Mother was right, when she’d so often say, by way of explanation to others — was it with a slight disparaging note? — yes, I think so:  ” Well.  What can you expect? … She’s just like her father.”  Today I respond by saying this state of ‘two peas in a pod’ being, between Dad and I, may become my trump card to taking on this most seemingly impossible task of my life.

So between now and mid-July, I’ve advance work to finish and submit — partly because it’s assigned and partly because I wish to get the most I can from this writing experience my husband is giving me.  And though I don’t intend to absent myself from the blog the entire month of June — I’m here today, aren’t I? — I just wanted you to know what’s up in my not so everyday life at the moment — in case you’re interested.

~~~~~~~

Ten years ago, I asked God to give me a story.  As prayer goes, it was childlike:  Short in words — tall in dreams.  And as best as I can now recall, it went something like this:  God, if you give me a story to write, I promise to write it.”

I’m not sure Dad’s story is IT but I think it is.  Because it would be just the kind of answer to prayer that would fit a Godly sense of humor — since the story has been as close as my father’s hip pocket all my life.  I only wish I’d realized it sooner.  I wish I’d realized it before Daddy lost his voice to tell it.  But since wishes don’t always rise to the level of prayer in my life, here’s praying I can become Daddy’s voice.  One more time.  Because life goes fast and some stories were lived to last longer than a lifetime.

The Last Word

20 Friday Apr 2012

Posted by Janell in Life at Home

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

Aging, Everyday Life, Living with Adult Children, Raising Children

Twenty years ago, when my youngest was four and I was thirty-something, he told me he was going to live with me forever; that way, he’d be able to drive me to the grocery store when I got old.

Of course, I always knew the time would come when he’d have new and better dreams than living with his mother.  I figured it’d happen right after college graduation — as it so often does — though, lucky for me, the big bad wolf recession ended up granting me a two-year reprieve.

Not that the extra two years together has always been a cake walk.  No, truth be told, at times, we’ve driven one another crazy rather than to the grocery store.  He’s called me snarky.  And I’ve called him a slob.  And he tells me he’s not as much a slob as some of his friends.  That, in fact, compared to his friends, he’s quite neat.  And, then I say  — with a long gaze across his bedroom, how hard THAT is to imagine —  and how, he needs to compare his housekeeping standards to those he shares life with rather than with the bigger slobs he doesn’t.

And then he says something else.  And I say something else.  Then he.  Then me.  Then he.  Until finally, I stop talking and walk away.  Not in a snarky huff, mind you.  No, being the adult, or at least the older adult, I walk away THINKING a reply, that I keep to myself.  Or sometimes share with my husband.  Because, both being writers, Kyle and I each want the last word.   And this way, we both get it.  He verbally.  Me mentally.  And we’re both happy.  Sort of.  Mostly.

Except now I’m sad.  Mostly.  Because Kyle’s moving out this weekend.  And the parting is truly ‘such sweet sorrow,’ and not just on my end, I think.

And all week-long, when it seemed as if we had a zillion things to do, my husband and I have instead been moving furniture to Kyle’s new home, twenty minutes down the road.

And all week-long, I’ve thought of how good this move will be for Kyle.  And said the same to Kyle.

And all week-long, I’ve thought about how much I’m going to miss Kyle living with us.  And said the same to Kyle.

And all week-long, I’ve thought off Kyle’s silly sweet dream of living with me forever and driving me to the grocery store when I get old.

Funny how it was Kyle, not me, who brought that old dream up.  It happened last night, I think.  About the time he mentioned that he’d miss living here with his father and me.

To which all I could do was nod.  Because there was nothing else to say. Then.

And now.  Maybe just this:  Kyle has always been sweet and always had a way with words, too, so that they’d stick, if not to memory, then at least to my heart.

Last night was no exception.

Chasing Rainbows

14 Saturday Apr 2012

Posted by Janell in Life at Home

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

Aging, Entertaining, Everyday Life, Grandchildren, nature, The Wizard of Oz

How it humbles me to know — that my granddaughter’s suitcase has been packed since four o’clock yesterday —  that she could hardly wait to spend time with me.

Relationships between grandparents and their grandchildren are as mystical as the nature of time and life itself.  Without trying to reduce it to words, all I can say is that what is ordinary somehow becomes extraordinary when “grand” people get together.  It was that way with me and mine, that way between my children and theirs and now, it appears, it’s also that way with my own ‘grands.’

Me and this once curly top grandchild of mine — the one coming today — go way back.  We spent many days together, Curly Karson and I — the best part of two years — back during her Shirley Temple look-alike years, when this photo was taken, in the midst of her third year of life.  Six years fast-forward, she’s in the middle of her ninth year.  And, I pray, I won’t sound too grandmother-ish by commenting how I think she’ growing up way too fast, which, I fear, means I too, must be growing old right beside her?

Much like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, I feel as if I’m standing at the intersection of four different yellow brick roads.  From this point of the post, I could take off in many directions.  Why if I wished I could write of those lessons Karson taught me — about paying attention to life — which she did, without effort, while I was attending to her young life. “Look, Nana, an airplane!”  — “Look, Nana.  Birds.”  And sure enough.  Who but a child would notice them, or regard them as a miracle to share?  Airplanes and birds in the sky.  Why I learned during those years that there was an ever ready, never ending supply of flying objects to notice  — why all one had to do was stop, look and listen to the larger world around them — rather than keeping their heads in clouds or lost in the latest task at hand.

Or shall I recall how Shirley Temple look-alikes run in our family, how my Aunt Carol, when she was a pre-schooler, was ‘discovered’ by a Hollywood talent scout in the late thirties.  Oh how he wished to sign her on the spot to play Shirley’s little sister, after seeing my not-yet aunt perform a song and dance routine on top of a neighborhood bar?  Funny how Aunt Carol called out of the blue yesterday to make sure I was paying attention to the ‘severe’ weather forecasts, to make sure I had a storm cellar to run to if need arose.

Or do I confess how different today will be, after spending the last three weeks with ghosts of family past — thinking, thinking, thinking — occasionally writing — occasionally uncovering a new puzzle piece to add to the pile — occasionally making a magical connection, locking a couple of puzzling pieces of Dad’s childhood story together.  Why his story consumes me.   Which is to say, history consumes me, that it consumes the best hours of the day, as time slips like sand through an hourglass, while I sit in a chair with monkeys on my back —  stories and old photos spread about me — wondering about next steps.  I’m all alone with it, with only Aunt Carol’s memory and historical archives to point me in another direction, in my chase of rainbows and fabled pots of gold lying at tale’s end.

But as for the direction of this post, I suppose it’s most fitting to attend to the present, like Karson taught me all those years ago. She’ll be here in an hour or so.  Already, since writing these words, she’s called to let me know how excited she is to come.  And do I have exciting plans?  Well, no.  Not really.  Oh, I suppose we’ll make sugar cookies, because as she says, we ALWAYS make cookies, don’t we Nana?

But as for the rest, i don’t know what the day and evening will hold.  There’s no use planning it to death, since children, too, prefer wiggle room for rainbow chasing and pots of gold.  But, perhaps, if weather forecasters are wrong and weather plays nice, we’ll go to the art museum.

Or, if weather turns nasty and predictable, we can just stay home — pop some corn and watch something stormy on the small screen.  Maybe we’ll watch Helen Hunt chase a Twister or two with that Dorothy weather invention of her’s.  Or maybe, we’ll immerse ourselves in history, and watch a twister of a different shade that begins in marvelous black and white and dumps an over-the-rainbow singing Dorothy Gail and ToTo, too, into a magical land of living color.

Wherever we land, here’s hoping Karson saved space in that suitcase of her’s for a few grand memories to take home with her.

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