Bobo's Chicken
Until last September, I had never heard of Bobo’s Chicken. I didn’t know about the red trailer parked a few miles from my house where six were injured in a drive-by shooting in August 2008. I didn’t know any legitimate business opened only on weekends between the hours of 8pm and 4 am. Most of all, I didn’t know my son Kyle had been asked by The Daily — the OU student-run newspaper — to show up at Bobo’s at 2 AM to find a story. Sometimes it’s good to live life in a protective bubble.
Even before the shootings, the area surrounding Bobo’s weekend trade was reputed for having high crime. It’s the area where my brother once purchased his cocaine. It’s the part of town where my husband and I paid $600 to get my brother’s car out of hock — even though the business front was a car repair shop, we had more than a hunch that the business was little more than a pawn shop for drug addicts in need of cash. What else can I say but that it’s the sort of area many would think twice about going to — especially at 2 am in the morning.
Kyle wrote what I understand was a tongue-in-cheek story about his Bobo’s experience. Kyle’s editor called the article, “Chicken To Die For”. Before it was published in The Daily’s on-line edition, the story went through a round of reviews. I never read the story since it was pulled within hours of being published. But I painfully read every letter to the editor, most which held no punches in raining down judgment on Kyle.
There’s plenty of right and wrong to go around when mistakes happen. But when the chips fall, people do tend to scatter and deflect. I’m sure Kyle made mistakes. But I’m also sure that The Daily staff and its sponsors made mistakes too, just as I know that mistakes in judgment were made by everyone who took Kyle to task without knowing ALL the facts…or importantly, the state of Kyle’s mind and heart.
This is not a defense of Kyle or even an attempt to tell Kyle’s story. Kyle has publicly apologized and told his own story in the second article he wrote about Bobo’s, which The Daily published (under pressure) a few weeks ago.
Instead, this is a story behind the story; it’s a story of a mom who watched her son go through the worst point of his life without power to help. I was sad and shaken. I feared Kyle might never write again, and I knew that would be a real loss, since writing has been all my son has ever wanted to do. Even at seven years of age, Kyle was writing stories complete with maps- a la Tolkien — which he stapled together like books.
It is good then, that Kyle had two caring mentors to steer Kyle through this mess. Had these two not stood by to cheer Kyle on, the second story would never have been written or published. I am indebted to both whom Kyle publicly names in his second article.
Not all of the letters to the editor in response to the second article were positive. But most were. Most appreciated how tough it was for Kyle to go back to the place where a mistake had been made so that amends could be attempted.
Best of all, there’s some gravy to follow the Bobo’s Chicken story: Kyle now knows more about who he is and what he stands for after writing both stories about Bobo’s. And here are the three (a)sides:
- One, the Dean of O.U.’s Journalism School stopped one of Kyle’s mentors in the hallway to say he found Kyle’s second article deserving of an award nomination.
- Two, Kyle now has an internship at a highly regarded local newspaper; his Bobo’s experience primed him for the spot in ways that I cannot begin to describe and in other ways that I’ll never know.
- Three, my husband and I are taking Kyle out to dinner tonight to celebrate Kyle’s first day on the job. Bobo’s would be our obvious choice; but as it’s Monday, we’re forced to eat at another fine dining establishment. I’m pretty sure Kyle would have liked Bobo’s just fine.
an everyday life 
I’m sure that Kyle wrote what he saw. Hope he enjoyed his dinner. He said he was exhausted after the first day.
Jane,
We briefly revisited the “crime-scene” last night over dinner. My take on it is that Kyle felt he could have done better the first time around — and that’s what he tried to do with his second chance.
I’m proud of all my children — but I was really proud of Kyle fighting to get his second chance at the story. The Daily did not want to ‘go there’ again — no one wanted to risk stirring up a hornet’s nest of bad publicity again.
I think too often I give up without a fight. I wonder how many times I missed out on second chances for fear of failure. And as I write this, I realize that I at least had the courage to take a second chance with Don — life would have been very, very different had I not. I think the same is true for Kyle and Bobo’s as well.
LIke a true aunt, you grant Kyle the benefit of the doubt. Wish a few of the original letter-to-the-editor writers could have toned down their letters a little with doubt. Alas, there was more arrogance than humility in these letters… and in Kyle’s 2nd story, more humility than arrogance.
And as Martha Stewart is known to say… “That’s a good thing.”
Janell
I don’t think many people(least of all people who SHOULD) understand how easy it is to crush a dream or a talent with careless words. I don’t know the full story, here, but I do know that I am glad it didn’t stop him.
Once many moons ago when I was about 14, I loaned a MS to a teacher at my school, waited a few eager weeks to see what he thought and then had the low-down, which began, “How can you tell a mother her baby is ugly?” You can probably guess the rest from the fact that almost 30 years later, I remember it word for word.
*shudders*
Enjoy the meal; you all deserve it!
Viv,
We did enjoy our celebratory meal. Thanks for your good wishes.
Yes. Those barbs of youth that we all receive when hearts are tender are hard to shake off — the pain continues to live — and yes, often we recall the memory “word-for-word.”
It’s so easy to tear down and so hard to build back up. But I’m glad you shook out the bard (enough) to continue to express your beauty through words. Perhaps wounded, we write in tears and blood. There is a famous quote isn’t there — along these lines?
I have missed your posts – but I know you will write when you are ready. Until then, I wait.
Janell
I started writing something new within the week!
In all honesty, he wasn’t unkind about it: his real gripe was with the genre I had been working with (detective fiction) and he did tell me that I was a good writer but that he felt this wasn’t my “real” genre at all. He phrased his intro clumsily. He also encouraged me to read more and also more widely.
I put up a short post today but will write more when I am feeling less anxious!
lovely to hear your words of encouragement. Thank you!
Viv
Viv,
Ironic that an evaluator of words had trouble with his own. But that’s life — it sounds like you received good advice in the end.
I look forward to reading you new post. As as for giving encouragement — well, that’s not hard.
Janell
Ah. So this explains it – that earlier post of yours about the pain of having to stand aside and watch something work itself out.
I read the second article, and the comments. The first thing I wanted was some of that chicken. The second thing I wanted was to be Queen of the World and have the power to smite all who evidence the scourge of political correctness.
But the third thing is more substantive, and still is nagging at me. I don’t quite have a handle on it, but there is something a little “off” about all of the comments – those which are supportive, and those which are juvenile and obnoxious. I figure a couple more reads should do it. I’ll report back 😉
I know your Christmas was wonderful, and pray the same for your new year. For a whole variety of reasons I’ve found most of the “oh, look at our family celebrating the holidays” posts difficult this year. So, I’ve done the reasonable thing – had a couple of good cries and pulled a revised (and better) post out of the files just to get things rolling again.
I hope Kyle keeps rolling. I used to have a friend who’d say, “Call me if you need me. Call me if you don’t need me.” I’ve come to think it’s the same with writing. We write when we want to, but we also write when we don’t want to. It’s the only way to be true to the gift.
Linda,
I always appreciate hearing your thoughts.
As for the chicken, I understand it’s wonderful. It’s been described in so many funny ways — “cocaine-laced,” for example, perhaps as a nod to the surrounding neighborhood businesses.
I know what you mean about political correctness. But as for the comments themselves, I don’t recall much substance. There was the ranting with big words that didn’t mean anything. And then there were the “attaboys” that had no depth. Why bother, I wondered. I’ll be interested in hearing your thoughts…if you have the time for further study…
I’m sorry to hear about your Christmas tears. But it sounds like they were cleansing and productive, in putting you back to your task at hand. And it’s always good to have a friend who wants to be called no matter what.
As for me, except to the pre-holiday fajita party, all has been quiet, not at all like Christmas. Yet it was still Christmas and it was a still Christmas. Beautiful and white. Holy in being removed from the world.
As for Kyle, he is doing fine. He is in the midst of writing two novels. Two. Can you imagine? And he is enjoying his internship, two days in.
But you are right about keeping at it – -I think Kyle writes something like 2500 words a day — even when not in the mood. While I sit down to a daily practice also, I don’t worry about word count. I just write until if feels finished.
Sorry, THIS has been a novel.
Janell
I’ve had a little time to read the 2nd article and the comments now.
First, Kyle is going to make a first rate journalist and a first rate human being. It took a huge amount of courage to do this. I stopped even thinking about journalism as a career when i realised I found it very difficult to distinguish between facts and my reactions to them; of course this hasn’t stopped thousands of journalists presenting their opinions as facts but it made me uncomfortable enough at 17 to drop out of a history A level and do English instead, a third of the way through. Kyle seems better able than most to be able to present facts, aware of his own reactions to those facts that can inevitably produce a skewed view. facts cannot exist in a vaccuum, they are always from someone’s POV, after all. A good journalist tries to minimise his/her input.
Second: we are all racists to some degree,whether we like or admit it, or not. We all react to other people being different/strange/other. We all have opinions, deep-in-the-bone opinions that colour our every reaction and interaction. We have stereotypes about different social classes, nationalities, gender, sexuality, educational class as well as ethnicity. Yesterday someone said to me, “The worst drivers in the world are Belgian!”. It’s a very old response to a kind of tribalism that is inherent in the human condition: us and THEM. I hear jokes constantly about blondes being stupid and yet, my hair is as light as ripe corn and my IQ up there hovering around genius level. The trick is to be aware of it and avoid letting it rule us. This is where the political correctness has us by the short hairs: it rules us. We’re not allowed to say anything, anymore, even if it can be backed by facts and stats.
I’d love to meet Kyle one day, but especially after he gets his first Pulitzer!
Viv,
Thank you for taking time to read Kyle’s article. I never expected either you, or my other blogging friend Linda, to do so, which of course, makes it that much more wonderful.
What you say in your second point I’ve said myself. We can’t help our biases, but how we allow them to color our reactions…. of course, is a different story. The idealist in me says if only our words and actions could be colored in love and interpreted with love… and if not love, then maybe with humility, realizing that all is imperfect, if we’ve had a hand in it.
I’ve always loved Kyle’s writing. But then, how can I not? I’m his mother, and I know love blinds my judgment. Back to point one we go.
Last night Kyle was saying something about writing for the ‘right reasons’ — not for prizes or for money, but out of the need to write. It is amazing to watch these children of mine grow up — they seem leap years ahead of me — when I was their age… and even in some ways, at my current age. Wisdom knows no age. Like justice, she is blind to all prejudice.
Janell