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an everyday life

an everyday life

Tag Archives: Soul Care

Living the Questions

30 Wednesday Dec 2009

Posted by Janell in Life at Home, Prayer, Soul Care

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Everyday Life, Prayer, Ranier Maria Rilke, Soul Care, Writing

“Do not seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them.  And the point is, to live everything.  Live the questions now.”     — Ranier Maria Rilke

A year ago today, I penciled this question across the lines of my journal:

“Can I bring everyday life in one of Oklahoma City’s oldest neighborhoods to life?”

Sitting in the shadows of the question was a prayer: “God …be with me.”

Questions and prayers are sparks of faith.  They light the way out of darkness.   We would not bother to speak them if no one were there to listen.

Writing for this blog is an exercise of faith.   When God is in it, the writing breathes.  It grows, it flows and transforms before my very eyes.  Words and thoughts I had no intention of writing are written.  The direction changes in mid-sentence and answers come.  A post is finished and I wonder at my role in it.

In writing, I come closest to experiencing God.  Perhaps if I were a better writer, I might exercise more control and rely less on faith.  Yet this approach doesn’t seem to work for me.

This blog, that was created a year ago today, was empty of posts for twenty-five days.  On day twenty-six, in publishing my first post, I learned I must write out of poverty and empty hands.  Only then will answers have space to grow.

I have found answered questions to be as life-giving as answered prayers.  In writing my everyday life, they are one and the same.

Christmas Eve Grinches

25 Friday Dec 2009

Posted by Janell in Life at Home, Soul Care, The Great Outdoors

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Christmas Eve, Everyday Life, Silent Night, Snow Storms, Soul Care

written on Christmas Eve, disconnected from the world…

It will be a rare, white Christmas for us this year.

The interstates are closed.  Stranded motorists – in route to Christmas gatherings or doing last-minute errands — are waiting for the National Guard.

Closer to home, no buses are running up and down Walker Avenue.  No cars are skating the slippery side-streets.  I’ve swept snow off my porches more times than I can shake a broomstick at.  I’m guessing ten to twelve inches so far.

The internet is down and snow continues to fall.  We are cut off.  We are set apart from the rest of the world by snow.  We are living in a Christmas song.

Silent night; Holy night.

Yet all is not calm.  Nor is it bright.  Ever so often the wind howls.  Snow puffs up and curls like smoke from rooftops.

If it were not for that occasional gust of wind, it would be silent.  I feel as is we are living a quiet country life on the edge of downtown.

It’s odd to be living in a silent night rather than singing about it at Christmas Eve church service.   And it’s strange to be living a White Christmas rather than dreaming it through song.  But the unexpected gift of a White Christmas is firmly on my doorstep, no matter how many times I try to sweep it away.

For years I’ve dreamed of gathering family around a Christmas brunch.  This was to be my year.  But what was to be brunch for twelve will be brunch for three.

Several of the dishes – a breakfast casserole and my Aunt Jo’s pull-apart coffee cake – will be made tonight.  Earlier today I baked a dozen Red Velvet Cupcakes with peppermint cream cheese frosting.

The rest of my menu  —  the blackberry blue corn muffins, the cinnamon rolls, the brown-sugar bacon, the pancakes – will keep for another brunch.  Some day.

For now, my unexpected guest is the snow that has come.  It has closed roads and canceled many gatherings in its path to get here.

Yet, my story is not about a Snow-Grinch stealing away my Christmas brunch dreams.  Christmas will come whether we gather at church or around a dreamy brunch.  Christmas is full of miracles no matter how it comes wrapped.

I’m living in a beautiful Christmas greeting card.  And from where I sit all snug and warm, it’s a fine place to worship Christ and new birth, against a landscape frosted in  un-driven snow.  As you can see…my candle it lit, without need of church.

Angel Wings

13 Sunday Dec 2009

Posted by Janell in Life at Home, Soul Care

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Everyday Life, Friends, George Bailey, It's A Wonderful Life, Saints, Soul Care

There is a metaphor for life hidden in today’s fog smudged horizon of sea and sky.

Truth is, we often don’t know where out next step or thought will take us.  The fog opens only as we step or think our way into it.  We may make plans toward a certain horizon, yet lay them aside for something else that comes along.  One step leads to another until many steps down the road, we have become the people our steps and thoughts have made us.

All the people, places and experiences I have known have,  in some imperceptible way, shaped me into the person I am today.  Had I not known them, I would be different.  Most were small differences.  But at times, I was pointed toward changes that opened up life toward fresh horizons.

And yet, those life opening events did not appear important at the time.  I recall one change that came by one who was not much more than a friendly acquaintance.  Our husbands were friends and she and I were along for the ride.  Who can say why Paula took such an interest in my failure to land that elusive first accounting job?  But she did.

Paula held no important position in the community.  Nor did Paula hold an influential position at the bank where she worked.  So when Paula told me she was going to put in a good word on my behalf, with the public accounting firm that served as the bank’s independent auditor, I didn’t believe anything would come of it.

But I’m glad she didn’t see it that way.  The discouraging fog that often hems us in from helping others was just not in Paula’s line of vision.  This small hourly worker, who later became a waitress, went up to the firm’s hiring partner and landed me an invitation to interview.  All I had to do was call and schedule a time.

I placed the call with memory of many rejections still fresh in my mind, only to learn from the receptionist that the firm wasn’t hiring.  Had Paula not followed up, I would never have shared the bad news.  But rather than letting the matter drop, Paula decided to hold the accounting firm accountable for its seemingly wishy-washy actions.  Of course, the audit partner didn’t know the receptionist was screening job candidates on her own.

After the fog cleared, I had my first accounting job, a gift from this girl who refused to give up on me when I had given up on myself.  And while I know I thanked her, she can’t know what her one intervening action did for my life because I didn’t know to tell her.  It was only much later that I realized what she had done, and by then, our paths had already parted.

There are many fog lifting experiences like this in my life.  And I imagine we  all have experienced them, if we but take the time to remember them.   We are beneficiaries of people who take an unexplained interest in us.

These life-givers are the George Bailey’s in our everyday lives that teach us it’s a wonderful life indeed.  Of course the fog keeps them from seeing their own greatness.  But I’d like to think that, just like George Bailey, they get that occasional glimpse through an angelic message of glad tidings.

Dear George,

Remember no man is a failure who has friends.

Thanks for the wings!

Love, Clarence

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-- Thornton Wilder, "Our Town"

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