Memory Keepers

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Old Friends and New -- People Come to Life

“You must know that there is nothing higher and stronger and more wholesome and good for life in the future than some good memory.” Fyodor Dostoevsky

Today opened up when Jon and I granted ourselves a little breathing room.

Jon needed time to sort through old memories and collect his thoughts; he’s the main speaker for his Alcoholics Anonymous group this evening.  And I wanted time to sort and collect items for a simple birthday party-to-go; we’re making new memories tomorrow, as we gather family at my mother-in-law’s to celebrate her 75th.

Memories are life, are they not?    So I wonder what happens to memories that are lost  — these pieces of life — do they get lost in our minds like a set of lost keys?  Or are memories like keys themselves, in that they unlock truth about our own lives?  And what happens to memories that are never recovered — do we lose important pieces of ourselves?

I lost memories with Mom’s death.  The memories Mom kept of me before I could form my own are dead with Mom.  Gone too are half of the memories we made together.  It is the latter that has proved the more noticeable loss, since I’m now left to carry around half-memories like a sock that’s lost its mate.  Like any lost sock, the half-memory is no longer aired in public.

Personal stories are sacred.  It doesn’t matter whether the story is told in an AA meeting or in a spiritual direction session or in a cozy chat with a friend or in writing memoir — or even a piece of fiction that reads like memoir.  I lose myself in other people’s stories.   And because truth is truth, I also find part of my own story within another’s.

Personal stories need to be told and they need to be heard.  And with a little more breathing room, we could memory keep a whole lot better.

Sopapilla Cheesecake

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I’m taking it easy on this first day of the new year.

Not so yesterday.  With my husband’s help, I swept the house clean of Christmas, save for three ‘everyday’ nativity sets which reside in our living room.

We dusted, waxed, wiped down counters and cleaned windows.  Then, we vacuumed carpets and mopped wood floors clean of salty residue tracked-in from our recent snow.   Our morning’s work of hard labor left the house smelling as fresh as it looked.  I can’t recall ever beginning a year in such spartan surroundings.

It’s hard to clean amidst Christmas glitter and garland, which in my house typically hangs on through Epiphany.  Yet, the need  for housekeeping is not so apparent when decorations help distract eyes from dust.  Perhaps it’s this way with people too.   Our exterior adornments and ministrations can easily draw focus away from tender care of the soul.

It’s a thought that leads me to pray; and today, this borrowed one will do:  “Create in me a clean heart.” And in this new year, put a new and right spirit within me.  Let me be kinder to myself.  Help me not push myself into a dizzy tizzy.  Let my expressions of love be as simple and right as today’s meal will be.  No New Year’s resolutions these; I will need God’s help to live everyday life simpler.

Unlike New Year’s past, we’ll have no feast today.  Instead, it will be an everyday meal of fried chicken and gravy for three.  I’ve made this meal so many times it’s become a simple undertaking.  No more than thirty minutes, from start to finish, I’ll complete our supper with mashed potatoes and a few vegetables.  Perhaps I’ll reheat a few of Max’s frozen Rocket Rolls — he’ s always glad to share … for a price.

For dessert, we’ll enjoy this simple Sopapilla Cheesecake, which came into our lives through Kara last winter.  The recipe mixes up quick — 10 minutes — and bakes in 30.  It’s good served warm or cold.  I like it for breakfast with a cup of coffee or tea.  For small groups like today, I half the recipe.  For larger gatherings, I make the full recipe.

Somehow the dessert reminds me of snowy days.  Maybe it’s because of the fluffy cream cheese filling.  Or perhaps because I returned Kara’s favor and carried the dessert to her and Joe one snowy afternoon last winter.  Or maybe it’s because the dessert lasts about as long as a Oklahoma snowfall  – there are rarely leftovers for another day.   In the end, the reasons don’t matter much.

What matters today is that a new year of simple pleasures awaits us.  May they be as good as this simple dessert.  From my life to yours.

Sopapilla Cheesecake

 

Preparation Time:  10 to 15 mins.  Bake Time:  30 Mins in 350 oven

2 pkgs Crescent rolls
16 oz. Cream Cheese, softened
1 1/2 cup sugar, divided
1 tsp cinnamon
1 stick butter
1 tsp vanilla

In a small bowl, mix together 1/2 cup sugar and cinnamon and set aside.

In the bottom of a 9×13 pan, flatten 1 can of rolls, so that they form a continuous crust.

Beat together 1 cup sugar, vanilla and cream cheese.  Spread on top of crescent roll crust.  Unroll the second can of rolls — carefully stretch and shape to form top crust to cover cream cheese filling.  Pour melted butter over this.  Sprinkle with cinnamon and sugar mixture.

Bake for 30 mins in a 350 oven.

Loose Change

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“…they will make vows to the Lord and keep them.” Isaiah 19:21

I don’t make New Year’s resolutions.  I like to sleep at night  so I strive to not make promises I can’t keep.

I can’t recall any New Year’s resolutions I’ve ever made good on.  The changes I’ve made have instead come steadily, through intentional doing rather than the loose speaking of them.

I have a good friend who lives by her word.  She does not give it lightly nor does it roll off her tongue like loose change.  She cannot be cajoled, she will not roll over in submission to pressure.   Yet… when she gives you her word, you can take it to the bank.  It’s as good as gold.

“Let your yes be yes and your no be no,” isn’t that what Jesus said?  And let’s not forget those other words that followed, though God knows I’d like to sometimes….  “anything beyond this come from the evil one.”

The corollary seems a bit harsh.  What about all those lovely justifications?  And how about all those feel-good rationalizations?  And what about those wishes — like I wish I may and I wish I might?

Surely these words of Jesus are words to squirm by if not to live by.

New Year’s Resolutions?  I think I’ll pass (the plate).