Responsive Readings

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Intimate, as if conversing over morning coffee, Rose caught me up with a smattering of old family news.

She shared stories about family I knew only by name, like my new-found eighty-year old cousins living in Vermont.  She told another about Great-Great Aunt Mary – who’d emigrated from Greece to America with my grandfather in 1911.  She pulled a few special stories out about her father, who died when she was thirteen — even his prized family recipe for a Greek chicken-egg-lemon soup I whipped up last night.

Her bold script flowed fast over fourteen pages.  But what amazes me most about Rose and this handwritten letter is how she refuses to allow her stories to grow stale. In spite of being recycled countless times, over ninety years of living, Rose tells it all fresh, reviving it to life again with rich detail.

In this week spent contemplating my writing, Rose’s letter has me wondering what makes for good writing.  Does it come with a long-familiarity of subject addressed?  Or is it an intimate sharing on matters closer to the quick of life?  I only know her letter inspired me to response.  And maybe, in the end, that’s what’s important – regardless of whether we spell our responses in words or actions.

Sometimes, as a reader of blogs, I respond by merely tuning in as a faithful reader — by listening to whatever it is the blog author wishes to share about life.  When their words spark a written comment, I do so without thought of reply, regarding my blog post comments akin to  prayer, knowing I’m heard whether or not I receive a direct reply.

I sometimes wonder if my best writing isn’t tucked away in personal notes and comments written over the years.  It’s something I’ve wondered more than once, even out loud, a while back, to my spiritual director.  The words spoken in spiritual direction are like prayer, too, in that I mostly speak into an attentive silence.  Sometimes my words inspire a slow and thoughtful response.  But rarely does one come rushing at me — as it did that day — when my director responded by saying he imagined St. Paul had probably expressed a similar thought about his own letter writing a time or two.

I confess I find it hard to read a response like his.  I wonder what to make of  it.  And then I shift mental gears by wondering what his response will ultimately make of me. All I can say — two years later —  is that I’m still working on a response to his response.

I’m thinking I may have one by the time I’m ninety.  You can check back then — if not before.

Woe, the Signpost

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All Saturday and Sunday and even some today, I’ve been wondering about my role in the blogosphere.

My thinking leads to questions.  About purpose, for one.

More to the point, it leads me to question myself.  I’ve wondered what unique gifts I bring with so many out there in the wide blog yonder.

I’ve wondered in the heavy silence that stands between me and the computer screen why I think I can write.  Or want to, for that matter, since writing isn’t easy.

Writing always feels like carving in stone blind-folded.  Far too often, I don’t know what end the stone will yield until I get there myself.  Sometimes I walk away from a partially completed bust knowing I’m too small for the subject at hand.  But there are other times, too, and it’s these that keep me pounding away at hard white space.

In spite of its shaky feel, this is no “woe is me’ signpost.  I’m just expressing my truth du jour.  In part, because I know I’m not alone;  I realize we must all have days when we wonder about life purpose and its associated questions.   So I write to confess, because admitting the truth is freeing.  And for good measure, I’ll forgo pan-handling for encouragement, by placing a lid on the spot where comments typically go

But before I place a lid on today’s thoughts, I wish to confess that I’m not without consolation.  That today’s has strangely come from that stranger-than-truth locust and wild honey eater, who many mistook for the Messiah;  because at his memorable best, John the Baptist served as a solitary signpost in the wilderness pointing a finger at one greater than he, whose sandals, he confessed, he was unfit to untie.

So today I confess how I know this feeling well.  How it comes in part from keeping company with my blog betters — those on my roll and others not.  And how I think,  as I read their blogs:  Now, why again, am I blogging?  And for whom am I blogging?

It’s always this last question that gets me.  Some days, I struggle to answer it with a few original words — words I later baptize with a  title  after it’s known by me. Other days, I’m content in being a signpost for my blogroll.

The one which comes without woe — well, it’s the wrong one.  Which means I should have called this piece, Woe and the Signpost.

Snowmax

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For Max, who enjoys a winter serving of snow more than any I know, this lovely poem by Mary Oliver.

The Storm

Now through the white orchard my little dog

romps, breaking the new snow

with wild feet.

Running here running there, excited,

hardly able to stop, he leaps, he spins

until the white snow is written upon

in large, exuberant letters,

a long sentence, expressing

the pleasures of the body in the world.

 

Oh, I could not have said it better

myself.