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an everyday life

an everyday life

Category Archives: Soul Care

Responsive Readings

11 Friday Feb 2011

Posted by Janell in Soul Care, Writing

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Blogging, Soul Care, Spiritual Direction, Writing

Intimate, as if conversing over morning coffee, Rose caught me up with a smattering of old family news.

She shared stories about family I knew only by name, like my new-found eighty-year old cousins living in Vermont.  She told another about Great-Great Aunt Mary – who’d emigrated from Greece to America with my grandfather in 1911.  She pulled a few special stories out about her father, who died when she was thirteen — even his prized family recipe for a Greek chicken-egg-lemon soup I whipped up last night.

Her bold script flowed fast over fourteen pages.  But what amazes me most about Rose and this handwritten letter is how she refuses to allow her stories to grow stale. In spite of being recycled countless times, over ninety years of living, Rose tells it all fresh, reviving it to life again with rich detail.

In this week spent contemplating my writing, Rose’s letter has me wondering what makes for good writing.  Does it come with a long-familiarity of subject addressed?  Or is it an intimate sharing on matters closer to the quick of life?  I only know her letter inspired me to response.  And maybe, in the end, that’s what’s important – regardless of whether we spell our responses in words or actions.

Sometimes, as a reader of blogs, I respond by merely tuning in as a faithful reader — by listening to whatever it is the blog author wishes to share about life.  When their words spark a written comment, I do so without thought of reply, regarding my blog post comments akin to  prayer, knowing I’m heard whether or not I receive a direct reply.

I sometimes wonder if my best writing isn’t tucked away in personal notes and comments written over the years.  It’s something I’ve wondered more than once, even out loud, a while back, to my spiritual director.  The words spoken in spiritual direction are like prayer, too, in that I mostly speak into an attentive silence.  Sometimes my words inspire a slow and thoughtful response.  But rarely does one come rushing at me — as it did that day — when my director responded by saying he imagined St. Paul had probably expressed a similar thought about his own letter writing a time or two.

I confess I find it hard to read a response like his.  I wonder what to make of  it.  And then I shift mental gears by wondering what his response will ultimately make of me. All I can say — two years later —  is that I’m still working on a response to his response.

I’m thinking I may have one by the time I’m ninety.  You can check back then — if not before.

Standing by Sis

03 Thursday Feb 2011

Posted by Janell in Life at Home, Soul Care

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Birthdays, Childhood Memories, Parents, Soul Care

I was six and a half when Sis was born.

Counting “the half” was important then; this I know for fact.  But what I don’t know and can’t recall is how I felt about having a baby sister.

I do remember the baby shower though, where I helped Mom unwrap many gifts.  The party was held at Edith Marshall’s house I believe, located just up the hill, west of the church where Mom and Dad married.   I remember Mom wearing a yellow corsage made from baby socks — which reminded me of soft baby chicks — fashioned into rosebuds held together by diaper pins.  The pins and socks, perhaps, were a nod to practicality, both intended for the new baby’s use.

I don’t remember Mom going to the hospital.  Or Mom being at the hospital.  Or Mom coming home from the hospital.  But I do remember seeing my baby sister lying in her used but freshly gussied up bassinet.  I whispered a promise to not wake the baby so I could watch her sleep.  I stood as close as I could get.  And looking in past the new lace ruffles adorning the wicker hood, I found her small.  No bigger than a baby doll.

Christi was the only one of us Dad named.  He chose to name her for his best childhood friend, Chris Alexopoulous.  He and Chris met in 1943 in Cohoes, New York, a few years after Dad’s mother died in a  tragic auto accident.  Dad may have lived there a year — and, while longer than many places Dad called home as a child, I wonder now, how Chris became so important to Daddy, in so brief an interlude, that Daddy would name a child for him.

I don’t imagine Chris knows Daddy honored him in this way.  Nor do I imagine Chris ever realized the regard Dad held for him, that so many years after knowing him, Dad would find a way to ensure he never forgot Chris and the friendship extended to the shy boy my father was.

But as I sat here and write, I realize many regard my dear sister in just this way — in the same way Daddy regarded his best friend Chris.  So while Dad may have initiated the honor to his good friend through his act of naming, Christi has extended Dad’s honor through the way she lives her life, as she stands by friends through trials and joys.

I don’t imagine Sis knows the good she does through her simple gift of friendship.  But then, perhaps there’s nothing simple about friendship.   If there were, wouldn’t we have more friends?  Fewer acquaintances?

— Happy birthday, Sis.

Holy New Year

01 Saturday Jan 2011

Posted by Janell in Life at Home, Prayer, Soul Care, The Great Outdoors

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

Everyday Life, Holiness, Soul Care

Ringing in a new year with the phrase “Happy New Year” feels backward.

Because happiness is effect rather than cause, a symptom rather than source.  It is fleeting and easily  imitated; I can paste a smile on my face, laugh in all the right places and fool most into believing I’m happy.

Holiness, however, is another thing all together.  As the source of happiness and love, goodness and truth, who could hope to pretend holiness?  And if they did, what would it look like?

To be holy is not the same as being religious.  Pray save me from religion — which at best is symptomatic and at worst, best not to say.  Nor is holiness found by reading the Bible (or praying or whatever) but by being found in reading the Bible (or praying or whatever.)  And I really do mean whatever.

To be holy is to become more whole — closer to that precious one-of-a-kind being I was created to be and become.  To be holy is to be ‘set apart’– to love myself and others and God in a way that only I can and no one else is able.  In that order.  We only work up to loving God, by practicing on ourselves first and others second.  And if we did just this, we’d be loving God too.

So my new year’s blessing for you today is, “Holy New Year.” I invite you to clear space in your mind and heart and life to practice those things which make you feel most at home in your own skin  — so much so — that you forget yourself and get lost in something bigger.

Unlike happiness, the tracks of holiness are everywhere;  this gorgeous sunset on a lonely stretch of  Oklahoma highway found me yesterday.

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