Author Archives: Janell

No Regrets

14 Monday Sep 2009

Posted by in Life at Home, Soul Care

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Today’s blue plate special is white milk sky and drippy outside.

It was the same yesterday when I put on my rain jacket and ventured outside to sow grass seed.  I was going against the experts when I decided to sail full steam ahead and sow my seed in the rain.  Sometimes I ignore well-meaning recommendations and do what my heart and gut tell me is right.  And with all the lovely Irish rain we’ve received, this time I’ve suffered no regrets from doing it my way.  

Wouldn’t it be nice to live ALL OF LIFE without regrets?   I think some people can do this fairly successfully.  People like my husband for instance.  When he makes a mistake, he doesn’t beat himself up.  Instead he shrugs it off — knowing he’s done the best that he can — and then doesn’t look back.  How I wish I could be more like that.  Is it self-confidence that allows this man to sail through trials so easily? 

One of my children is going through rough seas right now.  Part of me wants to throw out a life preserver to keep my child from drowning in sorrow.  But  I sense this situation may be a life-defining moment for one who tries to live life as a people-pleaser.  So I’ve forced myself to give my child space to swim out of the storm without my well-meaning intervention.

The situaton reminded me of a letter I wrote to one of my children not too long ago.  In it, I tried to string together a few motherly pearls of wisdom on this very subject. 

While it’s not easy asking for help or admitting mistakes, you can do both with grace and often with a sense of humor.  But if I’m going to keep this real, you do not do this as quickly as you could or should.  Humor your mother by allowing me to offer lessons I’ve learned from the school of hard knocks:   Be vulnerable – accept that you do not always need to be strong or right.  Especially trust in the goodness of those who love you.  Don’t sit on bad news (or what others might perceive to be bad) that needs to be shared.  And don’t worry about other’s opinions – seek the input of those you love then own your own decision – make no apologies for living your own life.  It’s yours to live.  It’s a funny thing that we humans strive for independence when I think God designed us to be interdependent, one on another. Why else would each receive different gifts and graces, if not to give and receive help?  Child, I think your life choices have shown you the value of dependence.  If others knew the story of your life, they might think the trials and challenges of school were a cakewalk in comparison.

It’s hard to see those I love suffer.  And though I’ve made sure my child knows that I am here if needed, I know that this trial is something that must be overcome without my direct involvement.  So even now, I sit on my hands and take solace in the words of the good book when it teaches that suffering produces endurance and endurance produces character and character produces hope and hope does not disappoint.  And in my book, one who experiences no disappointment is a close cousin to one who experiences no regrets.

Sunday Dinner

13 Sunday Sep 2009

Posted by in In the Kitchen

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My mother-in-law invited us to Sunday dinner today.  There was good reason to celebrate.  Miracle of miracles:  All three of her children are in town.  And this just doesn’t happen.  One lives in San Francisco, one splits time between the Middle East  and Asia and my husband, except for the last three years, has spent his entire adult life on the Texas Gulf Coast.   So what better way than a Sunday dinner table to gather everyone together?

In my family, whenever someone hosts dinner, all the women bring a dish – or two – or three.  I don’t know where or when the tradition began, but Sunday dinner always meant a shared work load.  Granny would prepare the meat and potatoes and maybe her mouth-watering fried corn.  And the rest was up to Granny’s daughters — my mother and two aunts.

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Home-Grown Tomatoes Galore

So in that share-the-labor vein, I asked my husband what dish we should bring.  And when he shrugged his shoulders, I asked what his mother was serving.  And with a big grin, he said, “Well, you know, it is Sunday.  And Sunday Dinner means only one thing. Roast beef.  But call Mom if you want to know what to bring.”

Jan wanted to keep it simple, so I offered to bring a yellow cake topped with my favorite peanut butter frosting.  And, just for good measure, to help Jan keep it simple, I offered to bring a package of Sister Shubert rolls; and then without asking, I used up some of my home-grown tomatoes on a side dish of macaroni and tomatoes.  Though none of these contributions took much effort, I hope I did the Taylor women proud.

It was great to have a ring-side seat at the dining table to watch  these four relive old family memories, especially the hilarious stories they told on Grandma Max.  No use mincing words; this lady had a bit of a mean streak.  And if it’s true what they say about only the good dying young, it may explain why Mammy lived to be ninety-six.  We laughed through story after story; and what made the stories so rich were the outrageous things she would say to people.  For instance, the poor innocent Meals-on-Wheels volunteers  would get:  “When are you going to get a real job?”   And this included the sacrifical lamb who had Max on his daily route; before he retired he was a prestigious OSU music professor.  No fiction writer could make up stuff as good as what Mammy created with her everyday life.

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Almost Gone Cake w/ Peanut Butter Frosting

After the stories were told and the kitchen tidied up, we sat around the table for a good old-fashioned visit over a slice of cake.  And by the time the visiting was done, I had two slices of cake to bring home.  An empty cake pan always provides the best testimony as to why this recipe is my favorite frosting.

While I don’t have Jan’s recipe for roast beef, I have one of my own that’s worth sharing.  And in the spirit of God, when he sent two times the manna to Moses and the Isralites to take care of Sunday dinner, I’m throwing in a second recipe just because.  Try one or both for your next family gathering.  From my life to yours.

Roast Beef

In a crock pot, set on high, cook following  for 4 to 5 hours until fork tender:
 
2 cups water
2 tsp salt – 1 tsp rubbed on top & bottom of roast
3 to 4 lb chuck roast
1 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp thyme
1 tsp rosemary
1 bay leaf
4 to 5 whole peppercorns
 

Variation:  French Dip

Leave out salt and add 1/2 cup reduced-sodium soy sauce.  All other ingredients and instructions the same.  Serve meat on crusty rolls & use broth as sandwich dip.

Peanut Butter Frosting

Bake your favorite yellow cake in a 9×13 pan.  After removing cake from oven, combine following ingredients in a medium sized sauce pan:
 
1/4 cup milk
1/4 cup butter
1/4 cup peanut butter (crunchy or smooth)
1/2 cup brown sugar
pinch of salt
 
Bring ingredients to a boil and boil for one minute, stirring constantly.  Then cool to lukewarm without stirring.  Once cool, add to sauce pan:
 
1/2 cup of sifted powder sugar
1 tsp vanilla
 
Beat with electric mixer until spreading consistency.  Immediately spread on cake.
 
 
 

Fall Garden Dreams

12 Saturday Sep 2009

Posted by in In the Garden, The Great Outdoors

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I’m bone weary after spending five hours preparing two front yards for fall overseedng.

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Heritage Hills Maple Reds

I didn’t expect to handle this chore for another few weeks.  But already, the leaves are beginning to turn in our neighborhood.  Over on Fifteenth Street, between Harvey and Hudson, a few Maples are already showing off their fall color. And at the County Extension “Hope Desk”, one gardener brought in some yellow leaves for disease diagnosis;  he may have left a little embarrassed when told the disease was called autumn.  But in my mind, there’s no need for embarrassment.  It’s backwards strange that autumn has arrived before the calendar pronounced it so; usually, it’s the other way around.

So waking up the fact that fall has really arrived, I decided I best get my lawn seed up and Adam, before the heavy leaf drop over at my Cinderella house suffocates my tender grass seedlings.  Even wearing gloves today, I got a blister on my thumb, a sure sign that I’ve grown soft over the summer.  Fall is my heaviest gardening time of the year, as it invites me to make new beds, reseed grass and plant perennials, shrubs, trees and fall bulbs.  And of course fertlize my fescue lawn, trees and shurbs and water when God forgets to.  

Fall is the absolute best time to create a new garden  in Oklahoma.  One of my neighbors next door to “Cinderella” asked me this very question today.   And now with his newly acquired knowledge, he may begin his long awaited landscape project.  He’s even invited me to help select plants, so maybe he’s serious.  I’m thinking blues and purples since his brick is yellow-orange.  But we’ll see if his plans comes to fruition — we humans have bigger dreams than time or money.

I know all about big garden dreams. I’ve been dreaming about installing new gardens in the front yard of the duplex next door for almost a year now.  Yesterday, I finally got up my courage to call Mr. Duplex Owner.  Of course, he was a little surprised by my offer.  And my boldness.  But I made my pitch and he’s thinking about it.      

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Black-Eyed Susans Galore

If Mr. Duplex Owner says yes, I’m going to plant flowers and foliage featuring yellows and grays and tans and rusts in front of his rust colored brick home.   Because I’ve got plenty to share, his garden will receive many Black-eyed Susans.  And then I’ll purchase some silver Wormwood and tan Native Grasses because they are hardy plants for Oklahoma.  And maybe some silvery green Lambs Ear.  And white and yellow Coreopsis because these little airy fairy daisies add a bit of whimsy.   And if there’s any money left in the measly budget I allowed myself, maybe a few Daffodils.  Because I just love Daffodils.  Or some sweet little Pansies.

Soon, it will be time to wake up.   Because once Mr Duplex Owner renders his decision, there’ll be no more time for duplex dreams.  Either they become reality.  Or not.   My dream now rests in his capable hands.  And because I’ve finally shared my dream with the right person, I can rest.  Well….at least until the phone rings.