So… I’ve begun reading Proust.
More than once, I’ve begun Swann’s Way.
I can’t say how many times I’ve picked it up off my nightstand… only to put it back down two paragraphs later. I tell myself I’m done with it, that the time isn’t ripe for me to read this masterpiece; but then, resolve weakens.
So I pick at it. And it picks back.
Between all that picking, sometimes I flip pages back and forth to ferret out meaning, while wondering where Monsieur Proust is taking me. I’ve no answers. Only questions. Easy ones, like what brings people to Proust if he’s such a hard read? What causes readers to persist and not give up hopes of reading his work? Is there any plot? If so, has it begun… and I missed it?
With no small relief, I’m able to report my reading experience imperfectly normal, if one ignores all my vacation time away, which amounts to something like four days out of every seven. I know this because, when on vacation from Proust, I take off on the internet to visit other readers who’ve confessed their many failed attempts in reading this four thousand word page story.
One of my favorite retreats, which I’ve visited over and over since beginning the novel last month, is a blog piece addressed to a reading group connected with The Guardian. Authored by Sam Jordison, the entire post is wonderful; the blogger’s insights, as well as testimonies of other readers, has assuaged my guilt and inspired me to soldier on in spite of the questions littering Swann’s Way. A short excerpt follows:
Of course, describing Proust in terms of plot alone does no justice to the reflections, counter-reflections, digressions and musings that form so much of the immersive pleasure he offers. But it does explain why so many readers feel themselves going under so quickly. Even those who find his writing lovely struggle to progress, as Reading Group AndrewLesk puts it,
‘I have started this book four times. Once got to page 200. Why did I stop? Time, ironically. It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve read. Looking forward to getting through it all now that the Club is onto it.’
He wasn’t the only one to struggle. JuliaC42 wrote:
‘I started reading it once (the Moncrieff) but it took me so long to read the first chapter that I gave up. It is now doing a good job of supporting my clock radio at the correct height.’
So what brings me back? Why do I continue to pick up Proust? I wish I knew. But what I know instead is that is has nothing to do with checking off bucket lists or acquiring bragging rights for traversing the work’s heights “because it was there.”
Perhaps Proust’s appeal lies in passages, like the one below from page 116 (The Modern Library Classics version, translated by Moncrieff, Kilmartin and Enright) as well as others that allude to the way reading a book can help us better read everyday life… to know reality rather than the perceptions of reality that too often blind us to truth.
Next to this central belief which, while I was reading, would be constantly reaching out from my inner self to the outer world, toward the discovery of truth, came the emotions aroused in me by the action in which I was taking part, for these afternoons were crammed with more dramatic events than occur, often, in a whole lifetime. These were the events taking place in the book I was reading.
By excerpting this, I’ve killed its passion, haven’t I? So it goes with me and Proust and why I turn so often to the world-wide web for comfort.
If my internet interludes tell me anything, it’s that there are many ways to take Proust. Some read to get the gist of his thoughts; others consume his prose in small doses, like poetry. That neither approach has worked for me, nor that I’ve yet stumbled upon some middle way, may explain why I’m out of step with my own on-line reading group since I’ve only half-finished with Part One. And why I’m planning to take Proust with me on vacation next week… if not to catch up, or to catch on, then to at least allow Proust to catch some Caribbean sunshine…before we begin again.
an everyday life 
Janell,
Half way or not, you’re the first one in our group to post so far, and for this I thank you. I can fully understand how Proust is a real challenge, and so’s life. I’m afraid he’d have to compete with our 21st C. multi-faceted infusions of all kinds. He’d have been overwhelmed I’m sure if he were around, and, I’d be surprised if he could have written and get published seven-volume, 3,000 pages to remember things past.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts so far, Janell. In the movie Shadowlands, about C.S.Lewis, there’s a line that says: “We read to know we’re not alone.” I could well use it to say: “We blog to know we’re not alone.” Why, you and me are all but belong to ‘normal’ humanity, when we conquer incomprehension and ambiguity, start and restart, read and reread, all to attempt at Proust. It’s not so much a re-start for me since this is my first time, but the rereading of the page-long sentences is what I’m getting used to by now. I’ve appreciated your candid sharing. Indeed, we’re not alone.
Arti,
You are ever gracious…and for this… I thank you.
The last five weeks marks my first attempts at reading Proust, too. He does demand time and I’ve had little to spare. I’ve spent much time searching for my youngest son an apartment, while he finished up the manuscript to his third book. What is so amazing about all that work is that most was for naught. I’d find great places and by the time I called, they were rented. And last week, my husband saw a “For Rent” sign posted across the street from the charming and affordable one bedroom apt. it appears Kyle will soon be living, while riding his bike through the historic neighborhoods near our home. So we drove by, then sent Kyle a link to the apt. complex website…and he liked it at first “site.” And then he applied… on-line. And though we didn’t know it, the landlord believed it was rented on the day Kyle applied, with three ahead of Kyle on a waiting list in case the one who snagged it changed her mind. Which she did. And then those on the waiting list decided to wait more. Which made Kyle #1 to view the apt. four days after he applied. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that he signs the lease today and begins moving in this weekend, since he must vacate the current rental by April 30th.
Already, I feel life more spacious. And maybe next week will be too. I do have a long drive to and from south Texas ahead of me, which as I recall, was helpful in making significant progress to both Midnight’s Children and Anna Karenina.
So maybe Proust and I will begin again on Saturday. I hope so.
Janell
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Well, nothing for me to say about Proust, since I generally can’t wade through reviews or discussions of his work, let alone the thing itself. I think there are reasons, including my lack of inclination toward the interior life these days. Not that I’ve given up thinking in favor of animal passions (unless you include ice cream on the list). I’m doing more thinking than ever in my life. But I’m continually caught by what’s around me in this big, wide world, and I’m spending a lot of time reading that world.
Also, my sense of the fragility of life and the who-knows-what’s-nextest aspect of it has made me a little impatient. After I fell off the dock and spent that eternity pondering the algae in front of me, I surfaced with an entirely new view of the world. Reborn might be too strong a word, but whatever the experience occasioned in me, it’s related.
So, I’ll stick with Prout’s madeleines for the time being, and take in your reviews like tidbits for tea. And it sounds like you’ve got something wonderful planned. If it’s a cruise, I hope it’s not Carnival!
Linda,
Of course, it’s Carnival! How could it be otherwise? We booked it a few days before the Triumph …. and then watched three more mishaps follow in its wake from the sidelines. But we’ll not go alone… four close friends from our Texas years will join us. Perhaps prayers are in order…. if you are so inclined..
Talking about out of touch, I know nothing about you falling off the dock. I’m sorry to hear of that and hope you are well. I’ll drop by later as I’m on my way out the door right now. But from the sounds of your comment, it looks to me like your interior life is alive and well. This is true, I believe, anytime we’re on the hunt to mystery (and know it).
Janell
Four thousand words? Gosh, it’s shorter than I thought. 😛
I have done the same thing as you many times (picked up Swann’s Way, read a bit, left it…) After reading Arti’s post, I’ve resolved to pick it up again and read it all this time. We’ll see how I fare…
Michael,
Here’s hoping your nth time will get you to the end.
I’ve run away from Proust a little less this week… in part because I’ve run away from everyday life, experiencing the charms of the Caribbean… in part, maybe, for stumbling upon my own middle way. I’ve been reading Proust in the morning when I’m freshest — as I once did with devotional texts. Then after reading ten or so pages, when I find beautifully written images begin to buzz by without note, I set Proust aside and pick up something lighter and contemporary. Just now, it’s John Kenney’s Truth in Advertisting. It’s funny how Kenney and Proust sometimes send a similar message in a bottle….I read this passage from Kenney last Tuesday…
“I measure time in memories, fixed points, a street corner where a thing happened, where I will sometimes wonder, years later, why that same thing doesn’t still exist every time I pass that street corner. Where did the event go?”
This may not be the exact point Proust is making… but the sentiment seems similar enough.
Thanks for your fine editing… and for stopping by and leaving a note.
Janell