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an everyday life

Monthly Archives: December 2009

Life after Bobo’s

28 Monday Dec 2009

Posted by Janell in Life at Home

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Bobo's Chicken, Everyday Life, Journalism, OKC, OKC Dining Out, The Daily

Bobo's Chicken

Until last September, I had never heard of Bobo’s Chicken.  I didn’t know about the red trailer parked a few miles from my house  where six were injured in a drive-by shooting in August  2008.  I didn’t know any legitimate business  opened only on weekends between the hours of 8pm and 4 am.  Most of all, I didn’t know my son Kyle had been asked by The Daily — the OU student-run newspaper —  to show up at  Bobo’s at 2 AM to find a story.  Sometimes it’s good to live life in a protective bubble.

Even before the shootings, the area surrounding  Bobo’s weekend trade was reputed for having high crime.  It’s the  area where my brother once purchased his cocaine.  It’s the part of town where my husband and I paid $600 to get my brother’s car out of hock — even though the business front was a car repair shop, we  had more than a hunch that  the business was little more than a pawn shop for drug addicts in need of cash.  What else can I say but that it’s the sort of area many would think twice about going to — especially at 2 am in the morning.

Kyle wrote what I understand was a tongue-in-cheek story about his Bobo’s experience.  Kyle’s editor called the article, “Chicken To Die For”. Before it was published in The Daily’s on-line edition, the story went through a round of reviews.   I never read the story since  it was pulled within hours of being published.  But I painfully read every letter to the editor, most  which  held no punches in raining down judgment  on Kyle.

There’s plenty of right and wrong to go around when mistakes happen.  But when the chips fall, people do tend to scatter and deflect.  I’m sure Kyle made mistakes.  But I’m also sure that The Daily staff and its sponsors made mistakes too, just as I know that mistakes in judgment were made by everyone who took Kyle to task without knowing ALL the facts…or importantly, the state of Kyle’s mind and heart.

This is not  a defense of Kyle or even an attempt to tell Kyle’s story.  Kyle has publicly apologized and told his own story in the second article he wrote about Bobo’s, which The Daily published (under pressure) a few weeks ago.

Instead, this is a story behind the story; it’s a story of a mom who watched her son go through the worst point of his life without power to help.  I was sad and shaken.  I feared Kyle might  never write again, and I knew that would be a real loss, since writing has been all my son has ever wanted to do.  Even at seven years of age, Kyle was  writing stories complete with maps- a la Tolkien — which he stapled together like books.

It is good then, that Kyle had two caring mentors to steer Kyle through this mess.  Had these two not stood by to cheer Kyle on, the second story would never have been written or published.  I am indebted to both whom Kyle publicly names in his second article.

Not all of the letters to the editor in response to the second article were positive.  But most were.  Most appreciated how tough it was for Kyle to go back to the place where a mistake had been made so that amends could be attempted.

Best of all, there’s some gravy to follow the Bobo’s Chicken story:  Kyle now knows more about who he is and what he stands for after writing both stories about Bobo’s.   And here are the three (a)sides:

  • One, the Dean of O.U.’s Journalism School stopped one of Kyle’s mentors in the hallway to say he found Kyle’s second article deserving of an award nomination.
  • Two, Kyle now has an internship at a highly regarded local newspaper; his Bobo’s experience primed him for the spot in ways that I cannot begin to describe and in other ways that I’ll never know.
  • Three, my husband and I are taking Kyle out to dinner tonight to celebrate Kyle’s first day on the job.  Bobo’s would be our obvious choice; but as it’s Monday, we’re forced to eat at another fine dining establishment.  I’m pretty sure Kyle would have liked Bobo’s just fine.

Sabbath Rest

27 Sunday Dec 2009

Posted by Janell in Far Away Places, Life at Home

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Dog Tales, Everyday Life, Lazy Bones, Sand and Snow, Travel

Laziness use to be a guilty pleasure.

Even on cold winter days, I had no problem finding something  inside to do.  Two winters ago I re-finished twenty upstairs wood windows and painted every wall and ceiling surface, including the bedroom pictured above.  I chose a soft turquoise with white bedding to remind me of the beach.

These days, the idea of observing a sabbath rest is slowly gaining more appeal.  Maybe it’s the company I keep; with my husband in the middle of a two-week holiday, each morning I find myself sleeping in later and later.   While I miss the discipline of early risings, I can’t quite bring myself to leave that warm bed on a cold morning, especially when I know there’s a foot of snow lying just outside my window.

It was almost eight o’clock before I stirred this morning.  A subtle moving of my legs was enough to summon two soft brown poodle eyes to pay court by my bedside.

It’s my morning task to tend to the needs of our doggie trinity.  The dogs will not leave the bedroom without me it tow.  Once I’m up — with robe on and feet in slippers  — Max gallops down the stairs while I gingerly tread at a more sedate pace; Maddie and Cosmo are not far from my side.

I let the dogs out and begin gathering up their bowls to make breakfast.  Today’s menu is kibbles with an aperitif of Rocket Roll and Turkey.  Breakfast is served, the starter is devoured and a few token kibbles are eaten.  Then it’s time for a second trip outdoors.

I am surprised that the dogs don’t mind going out in the snow.  In fact, they are staying out longer than usual.  Sometimes it’s for a bit of frolic and other times it’s for other good reasons.  My friend Kelli is the source of the “other good reasons.”  Santa-Kelli sent each of our dogs two bones for Christmas.

Not to tell tales, but Max is enjoying more than his fair share of bones, which forces his sisters into defensive bone maneuvers.  Maddie ‘s strategy — taking her bone outside to bury in the snow — is not working.  I know because I found Max sprawled on top of hard-packed snow ravishing one of Maddie’s icicle bone-pops.

There are so many ways to enjoy a bit of sabbath rest.  While Max enjoyed his turkey to later sprawl on icy snow with stolen bone, my daughter Kara and son-in-law Joe stole away to rest their bones on warm sand in the Turk and Caicos.

Whether its Turk or turkey, sand or snow, or even a warm comfy bed… taking time to be lazy can be feast for the soul.  With a good book or bone it’s paradise.  Even when the turquoise waters and white sandy beaches are walls and bedding… or sky and snow.

Tears and Fears

26 Saturday Dec 2009

Posted by Janell in Life at Home, Prayer, Soul Care

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Bible, Everyday Life, Love, Prayer

I had no plan to write about this morning’s biblical readings when I sat down at the keyboard this afternoon.  But that’s often how writing is with me.  I sit down to write one thing and out comes another.   I guess the stronger words reign victorious in their fight for life.

Of course, the Bible is full of strong words, many which make for disturbing thoughts.  Sometimes I’m desolate after my morning quiet time, as I see that people across time haven’t changed much — and that the changes for good within myself are painfully slow.  Perhaps, in some ways, we are all slow learners, especially when it comes to learning the lessons that matter most in life.

This morning’s reading from Psalms was a variation on the old “eye-for-an-eye” theme.  Most would agree that there is nothing wrong in expecting value for value;  to settle for anything less than what we are due is to be taken advantage of — and God knows, I feel stupid when I’ve let someone get the best of me.

Yet, in my favorite prayer chair this morning, I felt more disturbed than stupid, as I listened to the psalmist’s heart-wrenching prayer.  Distilling through all the rhetoric, I heard the psalmist’s pray boil down to this:  “We scratched your back and now God, it’s your turn to scratch ours.   Don’t let us down, man.”

I wonder how the psalmist prayer sat with God, as I flee for the good news of John.  After the Psalms, I’m in need of a bit of good news.  But it doesn’t take long for my eyes to water as truth splashes me in the face.

I’m now sitting with Jesus, who is pouring out his heart to teach others about his family business.  Jesus it seems, is full of heavenly notions about what it really means to love God and what it really means to love one another.  It’s clear that Jesus is upsetting the apple cart  with lessons that don’t quite mesh with his audience’s way of thinking.  Doesn’t Jesus see that he’s letting his listeners down?

I finally escape to John’s first epistle where I see the old apostle imploring his flock to love.  “All you need is love, folks — heavenly business is simple enough for a baby to do,” John seems to say.  “There’s no need to worry about whose turn it is to do what, forget about keeping tallies, everyone’s a winner when love trumps fear.”

This doddering saint seems to be saying that when we let one another down, we let down God and worse of all — at least in God’s eye — we let down ourselves.  Heavenly business seems to be about stooping down to pick up the ones that are let down by life and making them the apple of our eyes.  Back scratching is just one way to express it.

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