• About
  • Recipe Index
  • Daddy Oh

an everyday life

an everyday life

Tag Archives: Parents

Daddy & Larry

13 Tuesday Oct 2009

Posted by Janell in Life at Home

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Aging, Everyday Life, Mission Impossible, Nursing Homes, Parents

Daddy was sitting with the aides in the dining room when we arrived today. He saw us before Jon and I saw him.  And while I’d like to think Daddy was watching for our arrival, that might be going a bit far.  But expected or not, Daddy was all smiles, and it was good to arrive to Daddy’s big smile.

We quickly stole Daddy away from his aides, wheeling him toward the bedroom, that for the last six weeks, Daddy has shared with Larry.  Larry probably knows Daddy as good as anyone these days.  Paralyzed from the waist down for the last twenty years, Larry observes life from flat on his back. 

About a month ago, Larry motioned me to his bedside with a whisper:

“How old is your father”?
“Seventy-nine.”.
“Is that all?”  “That’s MY age.  I thought your Dad was an old man.” 

Old is a relative term I’ve learning and age is only one indicator of the state of old.  Today I learned that even the young-old like Larry (versus the old-old like Daddy) want to be useful, even if paralyzed from the waist down.  So today, while Dad and Jon were watching Bonanza, Larry caught my attention for a bedside conferernce.  And what I got was a brief of Daddy’s nocturnal wanderings.  After the report was in, I found myself admitting my worry about Daddy’s wandering ways; and then confidentially, Larry whispered that he worries about Daddy too.

It seems Daddy has become Larry’s  new found purpose in life.  Working under cover (literally), Larry watches Daddy’s every prohibited move,  everytime Daddy gets it in his demented mind to use his shaky, almost useless legs to get around.  I don’t think Daddy has a clue that Larry is spying on him.  And to Larry’s credit — he’s  becoming a pretty good informant.   He told Christi on Sunday about Daddy’s doings.   And then told the nursing home staff what Daddy was up to when Daddy fell last night.  And today, he was telling me about both.  

Daddy couldn’t ask for a better protector.  Because Larry has a handle on reality where Daddy, even in his better days, lived life in his own little dream world.  Larry is paralyzed and knows it.  Daddy is practically paralyzed and doesn’t know it.  Larry is clear-minded where in a state of dementia, Daddy lives in a fog.  Case in point:  Today at 4:30, I called Christi at work to let Daddy hear her Tuesday dog report.   Fifteen minutes later, just as Jon and I were getting ready to leave, Daddy stalls our departure by  asking me where Christi is.  My mother would have yelled at Daddy for such a silly question — Jack, don’t YOU remember, YOU just talked to Christi a few minutes ago!  Yelling’s not my thing.  I simply answer Dad’s question, by telling Daddy that Christi is at work — as if Daddy’s asking is the most natural thing in the world for him to do.   

On our way out, Larry asks my brother to open the privacy curtain that divides Larry’s space from Daddy’s.  Meanwhile, out in the hallway, I just smile.  With Dad’s family out of the picture, Larry is back on the job, trying to protect Daddy from Daddy.  And with Larry preferring truth to fiction, when do I warn Larry he’s taking on Mission Impossible?

Because they said so

04 Sunday Oct 2009

Posted by Janell in Life at Home

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Childhood Memories, Everyday Life, Parents

The story begins when girl meets boy on a blind date.  Not so impressed, the girl decides she will not go out with the boy again.  So she refuses his invitation when he calls for another date.  But when the boy keeps on calling, she begins to feel sorry for him.  So she finally gives in and accepts the boy’s invitation for a second date.  And then later, for who knows what reasons he asked and she responded, they went ahead and got married.  

This public story of how my parents came to be married makes me wonder about the underlying personal stories I do not know.  Unlike my Aunt Jo and Uncle Bob, I do not believe my parents were a love match.  For fifty-two years, they treated each other more like business partners than lovers.  And I don’t think they dated very long.  Because even basic facts like my father’s age were not shared until later.  My mother learned that my father was four years her senior when he provided his date of birth for my birth certificate.  It wasn’t that Dad was hiding the fact;  Mother had just assumed that Dad was a year older than her since he had graduated high school a year ahead of her.  Since Mom thought she knew, she’d hadn’t bothered to ask.  And only when it was clear she didn’t know did Dad bother to set the facts straight.   

I only saw my parents kiss one time.  And that was at my request, some Christmas Eve afternoon, almost fifty years ago.   So if is wasn’t for love, why did my parents marry?  Was Dad looking for a mother figure?  Did he hunger for the stability of a real home?  Did Mom marry Dad on the rebound?  Or did Mom marry Dad because it was time to marry rather than because she’d found Mr. Right?

But even without romance, my parents stayed married.  Like many others of their marital vintage, they stayed married because they said they would. 

For Sale

30 Wednesday Sep 2009

Posted by Janell in Life at Home

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

1960s, Childhood Memories, College Interviews, Everyday Life, Mad Men, Parents, Raising Children

I’ve just finished watching two episodes of season one of Mad Men, the popular AMC television series about people connected with a Madison Avenue based advertising business in 1960.  It’s a show about salesmanship; the mad men sell their ideas to the clients so that they can create ads to sell the product of their client.  Four episodes in, the characters I thought I liked and didn’t have become jumbled; as characters become less cardboard, my likes turn to dislikes and vice versa.  To the creators of Mad Men, I say bravo.  I  was hooked with just one episode.

In addition to being well done, part of the appeal of Mad Men is that it reminds me so much of growing up in the sixties.  I recognize the decor in the homes as well as the cars people drive.  And all the cigarette smoke.  I’d forgotten how popular smoking was then.  But some things I was too young to know.  For instance, Mad Men depicts 1960 Corporate America as a caste system:  Jews and gentiles did not mix, women were secretaries and switchboard operators rather than professionals, and of course the racial line between black and white was huge and bold and not crossed.  If this characterization is correct, I’m glad I entered the workforce in the late seventies rather than seventeen years before.

By 1977, women professionals were no longer a novelty, though we were still trying to figure out the ground rules.  For instance, I tried hard just to be seen as one of the guys.  I worked just as hard, traveled without complaint if needed, and wore my version of a business suit.  Of course, when I became pregnant, the guys thought I wouldn’t return to work.  But I did.  And believe me, I kept under wraps that I cried all the way to work that first day back, after leaving my eight week baby girl with another woman to watch.     

I entered the accounting profession, by the grace of God, as an employee of a small regional accounting firm.  The ‘Big 8″ firms didn’t want me, in spite of my stellar grades.  And the lack of job offers had nothing to do with my sex.   Plain and simple, I just didn’t know the rules of interviewing, and because I was painfully shy and insecure, I could not sell myself.  I hate that phrase — selling myself –it sounds like prostitution.  But that’s the interview game is a nutshell:  the interviewer tries to sell the candidate on his employer and candidates try to sell themselves to company representatives.  An after all the selling comes the waiting to see whether anyone was sold.    

My college interview experiences have been on my mind the last few days because my oldest son is going through the interview sweepstakes right now.  And since Bryan has more than a few on campus interviews lined up with public accounting firms, I’ve tried to sell him a few tips.  But my best advice to Bry was to have fun on his interviews.  Because people having fun are more relaxed.  And if relaxed, Bry will  focus more on others rather than trying too hard to sell himself.  

Best to leave the business of selling to those Mad Men on Madison Avenue.  But let’s see if we can make use of a famous ad slogan to wrap us this sale post:  “Don’t get Mad.  Get Glad.” 

← Older posts
Newer posts →

“Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it? — every, every minute?”

-- Thornton Wilder, "Our Town"

Enter your email address to receive notifications of new posts.


prev|rnd|list|next
© Janell A West and An Everyday Life, January 2009 to Current Date. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given.

Recent Posts

  • Queen of Salads
  • Sweater Weather
  • Summer Lull Salads
  • That Roman Feast
  • Remodel Redux
  • Déjà vu, Déjà Voodoo
  • One Good Egg

Artful Living

  • Fred Gonsowski Garden Home
  • Kylie M Interiors
  • Laurel Bern Interiors
  • Lee Abbamonte
  • Mid-Century Modern Remodel
  • Ripple Effects
  • The Creativity Exchange
  • The Task at Hand
  • Tongue in Cheek
  • Zen & the Art of Tightrope Walking

Family ~ Now & Then

  • Chronicling America
  • Family
  • Kyle West
  • Pieces of Reese's Life
  • Vermont Digital Newspaper Project

Food for Life!

  • Elizabeth Minchilli in Rome
  • Manger
  • Once Upon a Chef
  • The Everyday French Chef

Literary Spaces

  • A Striped Armchair
  • Dolce Bellezza
  • Lit Salad
  • Living with Literature
  • Marks in the Margin
  • So Many Books
  • The Millions

the Garden, the Garden

  • An Obsessive Neurotic Gardener
  • Potager
  • Red Dirt Ramblings

Archives

Categories

  • Far Away Places
  • Good Reads
  • Home Restoration
  • In the Garden
  • In the Kitchen
  • Life at Home
  • Mesta Park
  • Prayer
  • Soul Care
  • The Great Outdoors
  • Writing

Meta

  • Create account
  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.com

Blog at WordPress.com.

Privacy & Cookies: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use.
To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here: Cookie Policy
  • Subscribe Subscribed
    • an everyday life
    • Join 89 other subscribers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • an everyday life
    • Subscribe Subscribed
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar