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an everyday life

an everyday life

Tag Archives: Friends

Wallflower

25 Saturday Jul 2009

Posted by Janell in Life at Home

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Everyday Life, Facebook, Friends, Networking, Writing

I confess to joining Facebook–at my sister-in-law Nancy’s urging late last winter–with no real plans to use it.  My thinking was: I’m already challenged enough when it comes to keeping up with friends by phone and email; Why would I ever want to complicate my life with one more tool? 

But then, I began to receive a few isolated reminders from Facebook asking me to confirm a friendship or two.    And so I did, mostly to be polite.  But now, based on the last few weeks, my days of isolation could soon be over, as more and more of my past is catching up with me.  While most are friends from Texas, a  few date back to my high school years.  And I confess to being pretty wowed at the power of this tool that can re-connect me with people I’ve almost forgotten.  

Most of my Facebook friends are extroverts.  It looks like about half are serious about it.  And a few have confessed to being addicted in some form or fashion.   By looking at the grafitti left behind on my wall, they may be right.

I like to write though I’ve not yet written on any walls.  Not even my own.  No surprises here.  I’ve always been a bit of a wallflower.  If you were to spot me at a party, that’s where you’d find me:  holding up some wall.  And it’s no different in Facebook.  I respond as people buzz over or buzz by, if they call me by name.  But being the introvert I am, it will take me a while to work up to writing on walls.  

Facebook walls are one big digital party.  My wall reveals idle chitchat as well as a few mixed digital drinks and games.  I received my first digital drink about a month ago.  And because of the chitchat…I feel more like a next door neighbor to some friends who wrote on my wall to tell me that they were on their way out the door to mow their yards.  Before Facebook, I would have never known people cared when I mowed the yard. 

But to be honest, rather than chitchat about yardwork or whatever, I’d much rather curl up on a couch with a good freind or two and just listen to their lives.  But these days, few have the time or even the desire for meaningful conversation.  I guess they’d rather  ‘work’ a room, even if it’s an internet room with iconic faces.   And I ask, does working a party sound like fun?  Not to this introvert.  In fact, working a party sounds like an oxymoron.

My extrovert brother Jon joined Facebook earlier this week.  Already he has over two hundred friends.  Driving down to see Daddy on Wednesday, we laughed about the fact that I had only gathered twenty friends with six months work.  And it is work.  I was never good at networking.   My lack of networking skills was just one of the reasons I found it easy to leave the ranks of accounting management for the greener pastures of retirement.   

So what does retirement look like, according to my Facebook profile?  Reading and writing and no arithmetic.  And while it’s a ‘no’ to arithmetic for now, my wallflower of a CPA certificate is still hanging out on my basement wall.    Just in case.  And just in case anyone out there in the middle of the electronic room is interested, I mowed my neighbor’s yard this morning.  🙂

Gentle Nudges and Whispers

22 Wednesday Jul 2009

Posted by Janell in Soul Care

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Evelyn Underhill, Everyday God, Everyday Life, Friends, Soul Care, Writing

I should be paying bills.  Or a whole host of other things.  But instead I write, surrounded by resting dogs.  Other than a few odds and ends, there’s nothing much on my plate for the rest of July.  It’s a good feeling to have my gardening ‘hope desk’ commitments fulfilled; and as I’m on a writing holiday from Everyday God, I’ve been enjoying some time for leisurely writing and reading.  

But yesterday, during a lull in phone calls at the ‘hope desk’, I was rocked out of my sweet lullaby to receive what may have been a small ”nudge’ of remembrance from Everyday God.   The three of us on duty know each other fairly well from last fall’s master gardening classes, as we shared a common table and counselor, though both are light-years ahead of me in terms of gardening knowledge. 

So we took advantage of the space to catch up on each others lives and gardens.   During a brief pause in conversation, one friend asked after Daddy’s health.  And while in the midst of sharing a short report of Dad’s good news, my other friend interrupted my story, in the hurried and breathless way that local weather forecasters preempt regular programing to inform its viewing audience that a tornado is breathing down their necks.  I confess to doing this too often myself, so I had no problem with her interruption.  I understand all too well how weighty thoughts can disappear if not given birth when ready to come into the world.

To my great surprise, she couldn’t wait to tell me that if I ever offered Everyday God again, she wanted to come.  Forgetting Daddy for the moment, I responded to her words, telling her I didn’t know what the future held with respect to this contemplative spiritual formation class I was mid-wifing.  But that I would definitely keep her in mind if I offered the class a second time.  I don’t think she thought any further of her words.  Her job was done; the weight was off of her and onto me.  And I was surely left to wrestle with the meaning of this unexpected source of desire.  Was this a nudge from God, a whisper to remind me not to become too comfortable in my life of leisure?   

If so, it worked.  Because this morning, and even a little last night, while pouring through Evelyn’s Underhill’s book Mysticism, I began to think about future lessons.  And even about offering the first seven sessions of Everyday God a second time around.  And the thought of both is so…comforting, so moving, so beautiful and lovely.  Though none of these words are an exact fit of  ‘it.’

But I am drawn toward these in the same way my friend is.  And not because I should do them.  I do too many things out of ‘should’.  But this I have done and would do out of the deepest of desires.  I want to.  And so, it’s time to go dash off a quick and breathless email to interrupt my friend Linda’s day, while the tornado is breathing down my neck, creating this burning awareness of the beauty of life within me.  And before the fear of it keeps me from birthing my own version of this whispery nudge.  

Two Women’s Circles

10 Friday Jul 2009

Posted by Janell in Life at Home, Soul Care

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Everyday Life, Friends, Soul Care, Writing

In the crazy way that life works out, it was me who needed the break from Everyday God.  What has been exciting and fulfilling on the one hand has left me weary and needing rest on the other.  So last Wednesday, we gathered to wrap-up this leg of our shared journey.  And to discuss our next steps.    

It seems that this little bit of spiritual food I served each week to a small group of women has whet their appetites for more.  It’s a good sign that they are not ready for it to end, though I know that part of Everyday God’s appeal is that it allows folks to just show up, without the need for advance preparation.   Life is way too busy for most to add to their already full plates, though the desire is often there.  

What ever happened to those lazy days of summer?  Was it just a childhood myth that evaported into thin air as we grew into adults?  Thinking back to my Granny’s life, during the years  Granddad was growing acres of fresh vegatables and melons, summers were anything but lazy, as Granny and Aunt Jane were always busy canning tomatoes or green beans or whatever for Granny’ pantry. 

Memories of those hot summer days were preserved not so long ago that they are still easily recalled.  Most days I drove my 1972 Camaro back and forth to a TG&Y Family Center where I worked in Oklahoma City.  But whenever I had a day off, I would normally spend it in Granny’s country kitchen.  I was never much help though I grew tired anyway, just from watching  Granny and Jane work.

Granny’s kitchen was cooled by a big south window, so canning activities always took place in the morning before the kitchen grew unbearably hot.  In the evening, they’d take their work outside where they could catch a cool breeze — and beneath a big Pecan tree just outside Granny’s kitchen–Granny and Jane and whoever else happened to drop by or responded to their invitation would pull up an old metal chair to rest their weay bones as they husked corn or snapped green beans or shelled black-eyed peas.  And with busy hands, they would simply visit about everyday life.

I pulled up my motel chair every chance I got, partly because it was just lovely to be in the midst of this group of women and partly because I never knew what would come out of their mouths.  Sometimes a little bit of gossip, but more often than not, it would be a story from their own everyday lives.  Past and present.   

“Hey, did you hear…..?”     Before the complete story could be told, one aunt would cut the other off in mid-stream.  “Oh no.  That’s not what I heard…”   Then quickly… “Well, what did you hear?  And so  it went.  My two aunts held jobs in the midst of a thrving downtown, which pretty much made them authorities on the entire town’s doings.  As the Aunts battled over their talk of town, Granny would listen quietly as she battled her arthritic hands to finish her evening’s allotment of vegtables. 

The Circle from my past was interested in preserving food for the table while this Circle from my present is focused on food for the Spirit.  Yet both are bound together by a shared interest in getting to the truth of each other’s everyday life stories.  And this bit of shared thread is one that invites me to continue pulling up my chair to this newest  Circle in my life.  Perhaps, after three years and five hundred miles since belonging to my last, I may be finally finding my own seat within a new circle of chairs.   Time, as they say, always tells the story.  For now, I know our Everyday God Circle has agreed to meet monthly, where we will share the load of telling the Story and together, will listen to each other’s life. 

I look forward to playing the part of Granny at August’s gathering of circled chairs.   

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