Other Side of the Fence

11 Monday Jan 2010

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The early spring warmth that lightly stirs the magnolia branches is beckoning life to come and play.   Even now, the neighbor dogs and my own Madeleine chase each other up and down the wood fence that hides their view of the competition.  From where I sit, looking out my second story window, I’d put my money on Maddie.

My son Bryan will be running back and forth to Edmond this semester for a needed accounting class that O.U. doesn’t offer.  Hoping for an easy meal, Bryan called to ask about this evening’s dinner menu.  And then…almost as an afterthought…Bryan casually mentioned he had a job interview this Wednesday.   Who knows but that perhaps this rare job interview is a breath of warm air showing signs of life in the economy.

The name of the hiring firm — one I’ve never heard of — caused me to offer little by way of comment.  Interpreting this as a lack of endorsement, Bryan surprised me by asking if he should accept a position if offered.  Of course, I told Bryan I didn’t know the answer to his question but that any job offer would be hard to pass up in this economy — as long as he liked the company and the company liked him.

I have to laugh when I consider that I have one son asking me questions like this and another who doesn’t trust me to know what is appropriate business attire for downtown Oklahoma City.   In the space of days, I’ve had one son put too much store in my opinion and the other dismiss me for the junk heap that I should crawl on top of — being the all-used-up CPA that I am, of course.  And the beautiful irony sitting on the fence is that I know more about what Kyle should wear to work than what Bryan should do in accepting work.

But back to Bryan’s Wednesday appointment — having sat on the interviewer’s side of the fence, I would guess competition for this new staff position will be fierce.  I don’t envy the interviewers their job since there is so little to actually go on in making hiring decisions on new college graduates.  But knowing what I know about Bryan — if these interviewers could use a biased opinion of an all washed up CPA who no longer knows how to dress for success — I could tell them exactly who to put their money on for a sure bet.

And maybe because I’m not their mother, they might actually listen.

Hope House

10 Sunday Jan 2010

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Friday’s mail contained a familiar looking envelope.  The big orange danger sticker was a dead giveaway.

It was my mother’s old friend, Publishers Clearing House.  Mom and Publishers had enjoyed a fruitful relationship for years.  They mailed.  Mom faithfully responded.  And then she waited; Mom waited with hope that something big would happen.  Meanwhile, Publishers picked up the fruit.

Mom always insisted on subscribing to at least one magazine because she was sure the odds of winning were better for paying customers.  And who knows but that maybe she was right.  Mom’s thinking was that someone had to win the prize — it might as well be her.  Then there was this — if she didn’t enter, she couldn’t win.

I wish my parent’s lives had been easier.  Money was always tight growing up.  They learned to do without.  Well, except for a few necessities like Mom’s Harlequin Romances which she faithfully read for years.  My mother taught me that when you don’t have money, and you can’t earn it the good old-fashioned way through hard work, you dream big and hopefully one day, your gamble will pay off.

My parents were never secretive about their finances.  So I know they didn’t live paycheck to paycheck .  Rather, the truth was their money would run out before the next paycheck came.  They met ends with a little sewing income Mom made on the side.  Or sometimes Papa would fill in a little here and there.  Later, it was money from my sister’s store.

There was always some place for the money to go, so none ever got put back for a rainy day.  Maybe the car would break down.  Or the central heat would go on the blink.  And then there was my brother’s drug habit and all the tidying up over that expensive business.  The escape offered by Harlequin Romance was a bargain compare to my brother’s cocaine habit.

The amazing thing about all of this is that if my parents were to ‘do it all over’ again, their decisions would have remained the same.  In spite of all their talk about money shortages, my parents always shared what they had and sometimes would borrow in order to lend to someone in greater need than they.  Who does that?… I mean really:  Who does this?

I guess it’s the same kind of person who has eternal hope that “The Prize Patrol” will actually one day show up at her door.

Chocolate & Flowers

09 Saturday Jan 2010

Posted by in In the Kitchen, Life at Home

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It’s amazing how much of life can be put on hold when the temperature gauge falls below double digits.  Groceries.  Gas.  Walking the dogs.  Aaaarffff….

Mix the cold with a dark night and it’s a safe bet you’ll find me snug under a blanket in my favorite living room chair.

The only thing that can break me loose from my comfortable shell is love for others.  And the shameful truth it that even then, love for the warm comforts of my everyday life sometimes wins out.

Not so today.  It was full speed ahead on the do-gooder ship lollipop — errands this morning, my niece’s concert this afternoon and a NBA basketball game this evening.

Had I been thinking of myself, I would have stayed home most of the day.  It had been a rugged week after all.   Had I been listening to my life, I would have known that the combination of fitful sleep, my dental surgery, my husband’s lasik eye surgery and then picking up the threads of everyday life were all telling me to slow down.

Rather than doing what needed to be done, I allowed love for others to carry the day.  And the irony is that the outings so worthy of my presence didn’t really receive it.  I wasn’t good company.  My loved ones deserved a better me; and so did I.

The truth caught up with me while I was sitting in my seat at the Thunderdome.  Watching a half-time show that wasn’t so entertaining, I realized I was ready to call it a night.  I wanted to go home.  I wanted to get my pajamas on.  I wanted to  write and unwind the day.  But when I suggested we  leave the game early, it was easy to see by one look at my husband’s sore eyes that he and I were not on the same wave-length.  This time he won.

So I checked out mentally.  I half-heartedly watched the game play out while unwinding my day amidst a screaming crowd and loud music and t-shirts flying all around me.  It was no problem to be contemplative in smack of a crowded and noisy arena full of basketball fans.  In the quiet space of mind and heart, I watched my day unfold to become happy for taking time to do two good somethings just for myself:  Flowers and Chocolate.

I hadn’t planned to buy myself flowers; but tulips are hard to resist under the best of circumstances.  It doesn”t matter whether they are cut tulips or potted tulips.  Any color will do.  And on this cold winter day, when I ran across a small pot for five dollars, I didn’t even try to resist — I’m glad there was no need to.

Chocolate wasn’t on today’s agenda either.  But driving back home from the concert, with hunger pangs beginning to hit, all I could think about was the taste of warm home-made chocolate pudding on my tongue.  So even though I was tight on time, I made a batch in the midst of pulling together our quick supper.  And twenty minutes later I had 7 small servings of chocolate pudding.

It was a lovely day, all in all.  Too much doing of course.  But the flowers and chocolate were all about being….as in, being kind to myself.

But let me be kind to you too by sharing the recipe.  Some day you might find yourself in need of a little kindness.  From my life to yours.

Chocolate Pudding

Preparation time – 20 minutes    7 small servings

2 egg yolks
3 1/2 cups milk
1/3 cup cornstarch
2/3 cup granulated sugar
3/4 tsp salt
1/2 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips, melted
1/2 tsp vanilla
1 Tbsp butter

Mix eggs yolks and milk in a bowl and set aside.  Melt chocolate in microwave — medium setting for 90 plus seconds, until creamy when stirred.  In a large sauce pan, mix all dry ingredients with a whisk.   Stir in milk and eggs.  Mix well and heat on medium high heat, stirring constantly.   Mixture will thicken in 5 to 7 minutes.  When thickened, add vanilla, butter and chocolate, stirring constantly.  When completely mixed, pour into serving dishes.