A Garden Legacy

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Truth be told, acquiring a garden in need —  on a lot twice our slice of Mesta Park  — was part of the charm of this new place we’re calling home.

Too bad I failed to recall how gardening in unamended red dirt is like childbirth; the pain of bringing forth new life in Mesta Park — of amending red clay with compost and peat moss to a twelve-inch depth were memories I forgot too soon, covered up as they were, by three years of keeping company with jaunty faces of thriving plants.

But these gardens do offer consolation — especially with all the hard-scape left behind.  Our large stone patio —  a perfect perch to watch the morning sun rise above the trees — along with ground-level curbing that outlines the perimeter of our backyard fence gardens will someday, when time and weather become more spacious and inviting, become lovely bones to build new gardens around.

Most mornings I’m out back  — in an effort to restore order — before the heat comes.  Working my way around the gardens counterclockwise, I began with the east garden, though I’ve spent more time on the north, where lined up like soldiers, are twelve troops of Crape Myrtles that two weeks ago, were a mass of tangled branches, dead and alive, surrounded by waist-high weeds.  Parasitic vines covered two.  With neither strength nor tools to do more than scratch the surface of the soil around them — three inches is deep in these conditions  — I’ve removed most weeds and vines and reformed the shrubs into the shape of their species.

While my garden legacy is a byproduct of neglect and drought, made worse by a home unoccupied many months, every garden holds hidden joys waiting for notice.  The week before we moved in I noticed my first in a small stand of Hollyhocks blooming on the east side of our property, growing appropriately along an old chain-link fence.  I saw them when beginning to weed out space for the few transplants I brought with me from Mesta Park.

Every morning I watered the Hollyhocks, alongside thirsty transplants —  a few sprigs of Blue-Black Salvia and Russian Sage and a small crop of inch-high Cleome — that rewarded my care, by shriveling up and laying their heads on hot cracked soil.  Had it not been for the Hollyhocks, blooming their long necks off, I may have given up on those transplants, for I felt a mite foolish watering plants which looked dead to the eye.  But underneath there was life and all but a few have survived.  Looking back, I now see the transplants  had only let go of their surface looks to focus energy on rebuilding hidden roots, to regain their balance in soil different than they were accustom.

As I watered, I wondered who to thank for my favorite of all cottage flowers.  I began with my new neighbor — the one who putters around in his own garden with such daily discipline — but he quickly told me the Hollyhocks that we both enjoy came from Marguerite, who lived in the next house east to him.  In her nineties, Marguerite  was one of the few original homeowners left in the neighborhood; when I expressed interest in writing her a note of thanks, my neighbor shared she was under around-the-clock care of others, hinting she was likely in a place beyond reach of any words I might care to write.

Yet the thought of thanking Marguerite did not go away.  I thought of her again as I watered the Hollyhocks a few days ago, which now are mostly spent; though in their place are a few feathery seedlings that have sprung up which surely must be Cosmos.  If so, could these too  have come from Marguerite’s, since Cosmos are so often companions to Hollyhocks.  How many years had these seeds laid beneath the surface, waiting for conditions to ripen?

The question was enough to move me to my computer, to look up the spelling of Marguerite’s name on local property tax records.  One research led to another, and possibly to another, before I uncovered Marguerite’s recent obituary.  She had died late February without our mutual neighbor’s notice.  The news stunned me.  It made me sad —  on more than one level.  But as I began to get my roots about me, I saw how Marguerite, at least to my way of thinking, was not beyond words of gratitude at all; that I can remember Marguerite with a grateful heart, anytime I water my east garden.  And maybe even here, with these few words I’m scattering in digital space.

It’s enough, these words of mine.  I’ll spread no other about Marguerite’s passing, across the fence or anywhere else; surely the neighbors will find out when the time is ripe.

A Snap of the Rest

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One story, regardless of how good or bad, begets another.  And to tell “the rest of the story”  — to borrow that well-worn but never boring signature phrase of fellow Oklahoman Paul Harvey — of what transpired in my living room after my dear sister’s and aunt’s arrival on Saturday is better accomplished with camera than word:

Isn’t order a beautiful thing? 

Two days later, the change is still hard to absorb, especially given how quick it happened.  One might think it’d take a good eight hour day to achieve these results, but instead, it was closer to two; all total, Auntie and Sis were here four, with half the time spent at lunch and shopping at one of Sis’s favorite home furnishing stores.  Of course, Sis didn’t buy a thing but both Jane and I walked out with arms full of purchases.

Sis’s decorating process is hard to describe; but I can report she’s not timid about it.  She begins with big bold changes, attacking trouble spots first; at the top of her list was what to do with the hulking French armoire my husband and I do-si-doed around the room, the night before I called her.  No small piece this, it could only fit in three spaces.  A quick scan of the room led to instant decision and minutes after she walked in the door — I kid you not — the problem child was put in its place, just a few feet down the wall, providing immediate balance to the overall room.  I didn’t even realize the south side was heavy until Sis balanced it with a few big shoves.

Sis made the rest look as easy:  she centered the couch on the fireplace, traded a sofa table with a blanket chest and sent two chairs north toward the dining room to balance the armoire.  Then there was an hour of fine tuning with accessories — Sis selected from candidates I produced, placing each carefully into the scene, like pieces on a chessboard.  Her objective was to make whatever she grouped look attractive from all angles.

Watching the makeover reminded me a little of that familiar scene in the movie Mary Poppins, where Julie Andrews restores order in the children’s nursery with quick snapping of  fingers while singing “A Spoonful of Sugar.”  Of course, Sis didn’t snap or sing but made her snap changes with good old fashion heavy lifting.

Yet, I don’t think Sis fully realizes what a gift she has and is.  What for me is easier “said” than done — for Sis —  is easier done than said.  Isn’t’ that the beauty of working with others — even leaning on others when need be — since we become more balanced by borrowing strength from another?

Save the Day

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“Life is relationships.  Everything else is just moving furniture.”  — Sister Elizabeth Molina

My sister and aunt are coming to save the day on my living room, which for the moment, bears an uncanny likeness to “Grandma’s Attic.”  My grandmother didn’t have an attic but if she had, it might have looked like my living room.

Saying Sis will ‘save the day” sounds a bit dramatic, especially when the phrase marries the task of rearranging furniture.  But the words just slipped out on to this white digital space, so here they will stay, in spite of reminding me of all those Saturday morning cartoons of my youth — the likes of Underdog and Superman and Mighty Mouse and even Rocky and Bullwinkle, who not only saved the day but saved their cartoonish worlds from evil.

This trinity of words stops me to wonder how many people we know — either now or ever — that could easily bring to mind this phrase.  In my life, it was Mother, for one.  With Father’s Day tomorrow, I wish I could say it was Daddy, but it wasn’t.  Daddy had his place in my life but it was not saving my world.  If anything, Daddy was one in need of being saved.

No, in her way, it was Mom who saved Daddy just as she saved us all.  She saved the day for many, especially in her prime, with all her wonderful bag of tricks — sewing, painting, restoration — but mostly just by dropping everything and showing up in my life and others  to set things right with her rock steady presence.

Sometimes, of course, Mom couldn’t put things right but it didn’t keep her from trying.  Over and over again she picked up the pieces of my brother Jon’s life — picking him up at Crack Houses, picking up Jon’s low self-esteem as best she could, picking up his trail of hot checks left all over town with money borrowed from others.  Only to have the entire ‘save the day, save his life’ routine begin again — over and over in endless waves of need — until Reality hit.

The summer before she died, Mom came to realize, that no matter how hard or often she tried, she’d never really be able to save the day for Jon.  Sometimes I wonder if this played part in her readiness to quit life here, to leave Jon’s messy life to bigger hands than hers, to someone that maybe really could save Jon.  Reality’s a hard thing to swallow even for superheros; so why am I now  suddenly recalling those ancient words whispered by another in a dark garden, with a trinity of friends sleeping on the job  of keeping watch nearby?:  “Father, let this Cup pass from me — yet not my will but yours be done.”  

What a brave thing for anyone to say — to admit one’s vulnerability, to give up pride, all semblance of control and their bag of tricks, especially with an angry mob bearing down on them.  Instead, this Savior chose to trust in the goodness of an invisible Father; he chose to believe that all will be well in the end, in spite of  current evidence to the contrary.

I do miss my mother, especially when I think of how she loved me no matter what.  How she judged me not.  How she took me as I am and not as I could be.  Or should be.  Maybe I loved her most for all of these because in these ways, she bore the greatest family resemblance to one greather than her, whose sandals she was unfit to tie.

And in my life, on this day, where my living room needs saving and furniture needs to be shuffled around, Sis bears a huge resemblance to my mother and Father.  I’m so glad Sis is coming, and bringing our auntie with her, whether or not we move a single stitch of furniture.