I’m breathing a little easier these last few days.
I accepted the reprieve offered by my HeartPaths instructors. That capstone paper originally due Monday will instead be turned in next month. Taking the extra time may serve to improve life for me and the project, as well as those involved in the project’s review.
So what have I done with this space of grace? With little ability to think deep thoughts, I’ve chosen to work through my backlog of projects, the kind that keep life going on the home front. Bookkeeping, housekeeping and cooking — to the deep sighs of my husband’s pleasure.
And then I tackled bigger projects too. I finally had a repair man out on my washing machine, which stopped working during the days when Daddy laid dying. We now know the washer will cost more to repair than to replace. So as I write, the delivery people from Lowes are trying to figure out how to negotiate these big pieces of equipment in and out a too-tight basement stairwell. Lord, have mercy.
Most of my activity — like renewing my long expired passport and sending out party invitations to celebrate my two son’s college graduations — opened up life for new ways of living. And in these days after my father’s funeral, I need a new lease on life.
I rest in these words of Jesus, that I read at my father’s funeral, from the twenty-first chapter of Revelation, which are a mainstay of comfort: “Behold I make all things new.”
And likewise, these words of St. Paul that found a home in the fifteenth chapter of 1 Corinthians:
“All flesh is not the same: Men have one kind of flesh, animals have another, birds another and fish another. There are also heavenly bodies and there are earthly bodies; but the splendor of the heavenly bodies is one kind, and the splendor of the earthly bodies is another. The sun has one kind of splendor, the moon another and the stars another; and star differs from star in splendor. So will it be with the resurrection of the dead. The body that is sown is perishable; it is raised imperishable; it is sown in dishonor, it is raised in glory; it is sown in weakness, it is raised in power; it is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body.”
At times like these, I think that everyday life is just a dress rehearsal for the big show.
an everyday life 
Your comment about the washer costing more to repair than replace reminds me of the number of times I’ve said to folks, “You need to just strip off all that old finish, get down to bare wood and re-do the whole thing. It will go faster, and even though it will cost more now, you’ll be happier with the way it looks. It won’t look repaired – it will look brand new.”
And isn’t that just the way it is with life? So often we want to patch things up, fix a little here and a little there, instead of just chucking the old and starting fresh.
Why, just yesterday I gave the heave-ho to that two-foot stack of New Yorker magazines I was going to read “some day”. Gonzo, the whole bunch. I’m so happy. I don’t have to go through them one by one, looking for the “good stuff”. 🙂
Linda,
Tomorrow is “appliance rebate day” in our state. To qualify for the limited rebate, part of the federal requirements is that the old fridge (or whatever) gets properly disposed — rather than reused. I imagine that our local landfill will be busy for a while. Is this a good thing?
Meanwhile, having just replaced my six year old washer and dryer set (both which suffered electric burning in the past year), I’m watching a slow ‘off-again, on-again’ water leak come out from the bottom of my seven year old refrigerator.
Grasping at straws, my consolation, for now is: at least my body is not in need of repair! At least, as far as I know…
But will I show my age if I sigh — ‘they’ sure don’t make them like they use to — rebate or no?
Janell
Janell, I’m sorry about your daddy. I didn’t realize. I’m also glad you got some breathing space. My favorite verse about our eventual end is Rev. 21:4-5
“He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there shall be no more death or mourning, wailing or pain, (for) the old order has passed away.”
The one who sat on the throne 5 said, “Behold, I make all things new.” Then he said, “Write these words down, for they are trustworthy and true.”
I now see that my favorite correlates to your post title. God Bless You.~~Dee
Dee,
If Mom were still here, she would say, “Girls, dying is just part of life.”
And so it is. A friend, whose wife is suffering from cancer, warned me recently that he had sobering news to share next time he saw me. I find his use of the word ‘sobering’ to be so appropriate; for surely, we live life a little punch drunk, with little thought that this world is nothing more than a long, leisurely visit.
To what end? What are we here to learn? I’m guessing it has something to do with love.
Your favorite verses were part of what I read at my father’s funeral last week. Thanks for your words and kind thoughts.
Janell
Janell
My heart goes out to you in the loss of your Dad. I just found out today, Sunday, May 9th. Frank and I have been traveling a lot the last few weeks and I decided to read your blog and catch up. I am so proud of you for leading your Dad’s service. I know you will miss him so much, but we do have consolation in knowing the words from Revelation that you read. May God be with you and your family as you grieve. May you find moments of joy and peace in the sadness. I send my love and prayers!
Carol
Carol,
Thank you, Carol. You are and have always been kindness personified.
You know, it felt good and right to lead Dad’s service. But I confess to being greatly relieved when my final word was spoken.
And the final word is what? That death is not the final word. That this is not the end. That our ending is a happy one. Not sad.
Through the veil, I sense Daddy’s happiness. Yet, you are right. I miss him. And will miss him the rest of my days.
A good thing. Because he was a great dad.
Janell